it was quite an uneventful day, up till the incident. the regret, the guilt, it's all very clear to me now. i'm trapped in an octavarium, can't get out...
it all happened in soccer, i had jus worked my way past a few guys, and dk was the last man. i was on the right flank, over ran the ball a bit and stretched to keep it in. i did, swear i did. and DK, being an assh*le as usual said it was out. fine, i gave the ball to them and kept playing.
and it was like 5 minutes later, when i was dribbling the ball in my half, nazim came and took me out and ran straight towards the goal. so i came from the side and that moment jus froze in my mind. from the countless games i've watched and played, i knew in my heart that it was the perfect tackle, textbook, classic, jus spot on. the right timing, the right angle, the right speed, the right everything. yes it was street soccer on cold hard concrete. i didn't care, all i thought about was that perfect tackle...
and so i went for it left foot first, sliding in and everything went right, at least for me. got the ball clean. but the then everything went wrong. nazim being a slow-reacting person, didn't at all expect that. think everyone got a shock that i did a slide tackle on concrete. so nazim tripped over my body and fell down and hit his elbow on the ground. then i dunno what came over me, but i immediately got up and told him, quite harshly that i got the ball clean, almost in a punishing sort of voice. i guess i was jus trying to assert my authority, that i was till the man to beat, the best defender there is on the court.
damn now thinking back, i jus offended one of my best friends. he wouldn't even talk to me after i apologized and he probably wouldn't come for soccer for a month. what a stupid mistake i have made. it was jus the dumbest thing to do. of all people i decided to take my anger and frustration out on nazim. i feel worse than bad, i feel like an asswipe, a total jerk. i guess i'll jus have to go talk to naz tomorrow, and fingers crossed that he wouldn't be still mad at me. damn how i wish that i hadn't done that. too late for everything now. like they say life is full of mistakes, what counts is how you handle them. i'll just have to handle this one myself.
for those who understand, i extend my hand, for the doubtful i demand, take me as i am...
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