wednesday

it's wednesday again. why?

the perfect week somehow always seems to be ruined by a shitty wednesday. it's as if wednesday for me is destined for misery. and it never fails to amaze me why some of the worst storms i've ever seen occurs on wednesdays - the only day of the week that i have to travel afar. today, again, is such a day. worse still, wednesday also means tutoring my least favourite student.

so i was all wet by the time i got to the mrt station, even though my house is only about 200 meters from the station. and it didn't really help that there was a huge wet spot on the front of my pants. even i thought i wet myself.


then there was the dreadful journey to this ludicrous estate on the other side of singapore, where it is rather inaccessible by public transport to a poor lad like me. because, frankly, everyone there is so lazy they seem to do everything with their fancy cars. even things like going down the driveway to pickup the mail. well, maybe it's because they've all got such obscene mansions that their mailboxes is like 10 miles away from their doors.

and you'll know when you're there because they've got every store imaginable just for their own little estate, but things are that little bit fancier there. the water from their taps are apparently not water, i think they call it elixir of life over there. the air they breathe is enriched with platinum dust, health benefits unknown. they seem to have cold storage stores like us regular joes, but upon close inspection, the sign says "cold storage SPECIALTY", and you're only allowed inside if you have a net worth exceeding a trillion dollars. even the shopping trolley's are bigger in size, and plated in solid gold. and you'd think people would try and steal it, oh no you're wrong, they can't even be bothered. why steal some lousy shopping cart plated in gold when your entire possession is plated in pure platinum, including the family pets and kids. now that's what i call taking the moral high ground.

and before i go absolutely insane, i must say that certain people are such gentlemen, whom i have much respect for. like alex and andreas' (my students) dad. so after an agonizing hour with alex repeating the same stuff we've done over the past few weeks. he doesn't remember a thing, neither did he do his homework, as usual. it feels like i'd be better off tutoring a rock.

and then finally when the agony is over and i look forward to tutoring andreas, who's a complete opposite of his brother, i was told he was on a school trip. but their dad generously remunerated me in full even though i didn't tutor andreas and he insisted that i take it even when i declined. i'm genuinely surprised by it.

argh... off to watch some more nonsensical dr. house. i need a serious pick-me-up. drowning myself in a bathtub of tequila would be heavenly, or some magical pill that could make wednesdays go away...


+listening to: night prowler by ac/dc

» Read the Full Post of " wednesday "...

ticked off...

okay now i'm really ticked off. because i have been leading a frugal and austere lifestyle since last december. that means no excessive binging on fast food (which is a waste of money), controlling my habits when i do go out, no new cds, t-shirt buying put on hold, no more new shoes, NOT CUTTING MY HAIR (okay this one is for another reason i shall not go into) and finding ways of earning money.

and i have saved a considerable amount, not that much but enough for the original intended use:


which takes place here:


doesn't it look lovely? so being my naive self, i finally decided to put my plans to action in the past few days. so i checked the jetstar website and a round trip to hong kong would cost me about 200 odd dollars, close to 300.

i was pretty happy up till this point. seeing that i could probably make this work and it signals my partial independence, planning this all by myself and not having my parents pay the airfare all the time. so i went about getting myself some awesome tickets, probably a shiny 3-day all-access pass to the event. and the moment i read what was written on the website i was horrified. the tickets for public sales were already sold out last december!

in a moment of panic, i tried, in a frenzy, to search for websites that still sold tickets, and these are the flabbergasting sight that greeted me:

footballtickets.eu.com : roughly S$824

soldouteventtickets.com : roughly S$982... right, the name said it all

getmein.com : same story...

worldticketshop.com : a whopping S$1393 !!!

Now compare these to the original official price:

HK$1080 = a mere S$192...

great, the grand total would have run up only to about S$492, and i don't even have to stay in a hotel like those tourists, only if i'd bought the tickets earlier. i'm starting to hate myself, all hopes have gone down the drain. i don't know when will be the next time that i'll be able to catch the hong kong sevens again. the fact that i'll probably stay there for a month before uni starts does nothing to help. now, why did i miss the singapore sevens in 2006? i'm hating myself really badly right now. and when i'm pissed off, i tend to spend money, like there's no tomorrow. argh...

» Read the Full Post of " ticked off... "...

why wash your car?

on a fine beautiful sunny morning, the common sight in the car park downstairs staggers me: middle-aged men washing their cars.


what a meaningless way of passing the time. you don’t wash your vacuum cleaner or your television set, you have a machine to wash the dishes and you employ a maid to clean your windows. so how much do you have to hate the sight of your wife and children before you think, “i’d rather go outside and spend a couple of hours shining my wheel nuts”?

i am aware, of course, that many men do hate the sight of their wife and children. doctors even have a name for these people: “anglers”. but even the concept of sitting in the drizzle by a canal for six hours fishing for an elusive luohan fish is not as daft as washing a car.

first of all, it’s very hard work. you have to do all the exercises favoured by homosexuals in gyms. bending over, stretching, rubbing. but at least when homosexuals finish, they have glistening, toned bodies that make them look good. you? you’re just going to end up with a slipped disk in your spine, while losing what's left of the 20 or so strands of hair you have left by the mili-seconds. and the more you clean, the more you’ll notice is dirty. if you’re not careful you’ll end up polishing the inside of the tyre valves and then not wanting to use your car if it’s raining.

and i see you armed to the teeth with your arsenal of weapons? are those the uber - secret - formula - developed - on - mars cleaning products that are available in supermarkets? “simply spray onto the glass,” it says on the tin, “then, after two minutes, wipe down with a clean cloth.” rubbish. you can never trust any instruction that begins with the word “simply”.

why are you washing the car in the first place? a car will not get smelly armpits or soggy groin. bathing it will not increase its life expectancy or decrease the chances of a breakdown. all it does really is demonstrate to others that you have a tiny mind and an empty life. i want you to think carefully about this. can you picture in your mind george clooney washing a car? quite.

look to our middle eastern counterparts like qatar, they have realised that it rots the mind (and thirsts the people) and that's why washing your car is forbidden and heralds death by stoning and a fine of QR 15,000.00, though the methods by which you'll pay the fine after getting stoned to death escapes me. nevertheless there's simply no place for such extravagance and useless nonsense.

oh, and here’s another thing. washing a car is the only time you ever get up close and personal with all of its panels. which means you will find a million depressing little dings and scratches that you would never have spotted had you left it caked in grime.

and in the ultimate hypocrisy, let me proclaim: get a life gentlemen. i'm tired of watching you wash your cars from my window =D

» Read the Full Post of " why wash your car? "...

The good, the bad and the ugly

sometimes i wonder why i do the things that i chose to do, why i put in the effort and give my 110%, why i keep hoping, why i keep driving myself, why i keep giving, why i keep getting disappointed, why i keep getting bruised, why i keep feeling down, why i feel unappreciated, why i get a sense of helplessness, why i get betrayed and yet still i keep the faith.

maybe because they don't see eye to eye with me. maybe to them it's something trivial, maybe it's because of the circumstances that dictate the situation, maybe there just isn't that hunger, that thirst to do something. maybe i'm over-reacting, maybe i don't command their respect, maybe i'm not good enough, maybe i should give up.

even though i tell myself it's nobody's fault, deep down inside i'm full of hate. i hate the bureaucratic hypocrites and their apathetic attitude. i hate those who don't seem to give a shit. i hate those who mouth us off and yet are blinded by their own ignorance. i hate the condescending attitude shown towards us when we have given it everything we have got and then some more. i hate it that others who are not our own show us more respect than those we call "our own". i hate the silence every time we stumble, and even more on those rare occasions that we overcome all else for that briefest moment of triumph. and i hate myself for not being able to make things better for those to come.

but above all else i have no regrets for what i have done, not a single one of my decisions, not a single drop of blood, sweat or tears, not a single inch gained or lost, not a single point dropped or earned, not a single jammed finger or busted ankle and not a single moment just being there with my own band of brothers.

so i pray that people can just see past the differences and distractions and focus on the prize, i pray that when i leave and look over my shoulders i see them not as individuals but as one, i pray that things will take a turn for the better. i pray that everyone realises how special each and everyone of them is.

i'm living on a prayer...

» Read the Full Post of " The good, the bad and the ugly "...

Mama, put my guns in the ground

 
While casually scrolling through my playlist, "Jeremy" came up again...

Play "Jeremy"

... the quiet boy who draws during lessons, whose parents are too busy to pay him any attention, finally shoots himself in front of his english class. It actually did take place at Richardson High School in Texas on the morning of January 8, 1991.

Fast forward to 20 April 1999 - Columbine, Colorado. Then to 16 April 2007 - Blacksburg, Virginia and finally to 14 Feb, two days ago - DeKalb, Illinois. Why do these shootings keep taking place? What are we doing? Why are we here? Is it because of anger, sorrow or just some inexplicable reason which causes such irrational behaviour which calls for taking another person's, or in numerous cases, multiple persons' lives?

Eddie Vedder once commented in an interview regarding the song Jeremy. He said "The best revenge is to live on and prove yourself. Be stronger than those people. And then you can come back." And I can't help but agree with him. The reason for taking one's own life as I can only imagine is to seek the end, an end to all the drowned out sorrow and misplaced judgements. But would the end be a peaceful one if all it does is lead to the pain of even more people. I dunno, maybe that's the objective after all.


If you've watched Bowling for Columbine by Michael Moore, you probably would have known certain facts about the United States and its state of catastrophe with firearms. I've always thought it's completely retarded to allow civilians to own firearms. I mean I dunno how the average Joes in US live with it, but imagine if you live in Singapore, how would your everyday Ah Pek and Ah Mah react when they walk into your friendly neighbourhood NTUC Fairprice and right by the Sunshine bread and Tops kaya spread shelves, there's a cabinet stocked to the brim with Kalashnikovs and Carbines and your asortment of Paras and Arctics? All displayed there proudly with a shiny FOR SALE sign on it targeted at every bum on the street. Okay maybe I'm exaggerating a bit, but think about it, the least it would do is to make every sane human being go like "knnsmljccbwtfbbq?" or translated to english loosely it would be something like "holy mother of... WHAT T H E F U C K B B Q?" (the "bbq" at the end simply symbolizes the speechlessness one would feel after saying fuck, yet yearning to say something to continue expressing one's bewilderment). well you get what i mean.

Anyways it's just the sad fact of reality and society that we may never know the true motives or causes behind some of the things that happen. we can only offer our prayers and hopes. But I think it's also time that people examine some age old traditions/rights which doesn't really help with the situation in this screwed up new era. e.g. the Second Amendment rights to keep and bear arms in the US.

And on a final but ironic note, the guy who committed the massacre just 2 days ago, he's currently (well he was before he killed himself) enrolled at UIUC as a graduate student. and the thing is UIUC is one of the schools that I have applied to and it is pretty high up on my possible-schools-to-goto list. i cringe at the thought of what other possible nutjobs are still in there...

» Read the Full Post of " Mama, put my guns in the ground "...