Judgement

The Big moment has finally arrived. Wed, Dec 19 2007. i'm kinda ahead by about 13 hours of US Estern Standard Time, less they already started using the Daylight Saving bullshit which i think they did (if i rmb correctly, the last sunday of october or something). so by tomorrow morning i should know if the course of my fate has been decided the way i wanted it to be.

i been thinking about all that i have done for the past 6 years. some things i'm immensely proud out, some other things that i'm less proud of, and some of the things i'm desperately trying to forget or couldn't care less about.

thinking back, i think JC life has taught me a lot. if there's one thing that i learnt in JC, it's that if you want something, you gotta go get it yourself. because nobody will get it for you. i guess that's the basic philosophy of life, of the cruelty and the harsh reality of an adult life. and i think i'm beginning to see things in a different, more realistic light.

i know that once i go to university things will be more like the outside, unprotected world. i'm gonna have to start taking care of myself. independence i must learn, survival skills i must acquire. so many things that i have to do. at the same time i'm anxious. i can't wait to go to university, to meet new people, to see different things. i believe there's another whole new world out there waiting for me. freedom seems not that far away any more.

so i'm praying hard now, to no particular deity or superior being. i'm just praying that i can get what i've always wanted. i know that the slip of paper's probably sitting somewhere on some admission committee member's desk waiting to be mailed or sitting in the computer database. i just hope it says what i want it to say.

for once pls gimme what i want, for i don't desire many things and seldom do i truly get what i wish for... just this one time.