the human connection

When you're talkin to yourself, And nobody's home. You can fool yourself, You came in this world alone... that's how the song estrange started out, and estranged is perhaps the perfect word to describe my state of emotional well-being recently.

i feel pretty distant from the people around me. maybe it's from not talking to them for too long. even when they are right in front of me, i seem to be lost for words. not knowing what to say. well maybe it's just a transient thing, that will pass with time. i just need to get used to it. it's weird how that i can never relate to people around me the way i used to be able to in school. like how i saw a friend at mrt today, and he patted my shoulder and i turned around and all i could mutter out was "hey" and that was it. i was just standing there not knowing what to say. and this was just after talking to him on msn the day before.

anyway today i went to rekindle some old friendships, having lunch with people from my 1J/2J class. it was comforting though, doing a lot of catching up and seeing how we could still just talk rubbish non stop. but somehow everyone has grown up quite a bit. the little fun attitude things have disappeared unfortunately, because it wasn't as volatile as we used to be, but still fun nontheless. we complained generally about jobs, army and stuff, all this while stuffing ourselves to the brim with sushi (it was a bloody buffet lunch...) and in the end everyone was all stuffed and satisfied. it was a great experience, having lunch with a bunch of people who are just as friendly as if they were still in the same class as u after 4 years of being in different classes plus now that we've graduated. memories of those most hilarious years in secondary schools are slowly coming back. it was a hell of a ride those two budding years. it was just a bottle-rocket of pure raging hormones all bunched up in a classroom way too small to contain our collective egos. i am still surprised that we all made it through alive somehow and turned into quite decent young men. go figure...