die another day = live everyday (until then)

i've realised this morning that i've become quite narcissistic.

i was actually blog hopping around looking for interesting reads, and i inevitably ended up on my own again. i never used to do that. things were that i'd blog about what was on my mind at the spur of the moment and forget about it.

nowadays i keep going in circles in my own mind. all these free time is becoming unhealthy. and i'm feeling tired ALL the time, for not doing anything. life was infinitely more interesting when you have tonnes of worries/obligations/responsibilities/homework.

i thought going out would have helped. i used to enjoy strolling around town or whatever random places by myself. not that i detest it now, it's just not as interesting as it seems to be anymore. and it used to be that i'd walk into a bookstore like kinokunya or a cd shop like gramophone and just hang around for AGES, because everything seemed interesting and fresh.

somehow all the colours around me seem to have taken on a darker shade. maybe it's just pre-college blues, maybe it's got something to do with adulthood? i long for the day when i'll be FAR, FAR away from home but then again the definition of home has never been deeply rooted in my mind. i'm not a home-ly person. as long as i have a little room with a bed, a desk and internet access, i'll be more than happy.

something is missing and i don't know what. it's not something that i can put a grasp on. if only i knew what it is.

i'd love to read about all the stuff that i've blogged about for the past 5 years, the enoumena.net and bo0.com days before i couldn't be bothered to pay for a domain and moved to blogger. it'll be like traveling back in time. unfortunately the backup database was lost when my old external hdd died on me unexpectedly, argh. i want to relive those moments.


+listening to: the great gig in the sky by pink floyd