lost touch

my dream of becoming francois steyn has been decimated. my drop kicking abilities have gone backwards. i can't get the sweet spot anymore, and i'm slicing kicks horribly. but still got the legs to hit it from the halfway mark though, even though it's a bit off. argh... i'm a little peeved.

nevermind me though. today i felt... fruitful.

when i arrived at training early at 3.40, the boys were already doing their warm-ups. not 1 or 2, there must have been 7 or 8 of them. they were already doing some passes and kicking around. considering there are a total of probably 12 people, things have finally started to change.

i'm starting to see some light now. their passes have improved, some of the tackles are awesome, and some are even showing some skill and speed. is the one man crusade finally working? no it's not a one man crusade anymore. somehow maybe they understood, somewhere along, some of them might have just fallen in love with it.

i'm starting to see some hunger, to become better, to get it right. and all these despite my caustic persona on the pitch. i have to admit, once i step onto the pitch i can turn into a nasty f*cker and i definitely do NOT have the best temper around, i can't help it.

they might have even started to enjoy it. i'm certainly enjoying it even though i think i appear to be screaming my head off all the time. the truth is, i've never felt more alive, and i have never been more motivated, or more into it. i want to help them go where they've never even dreamed of going before, and if any group of individuals were going to do it, it ought to be them. but time is so short. another month and a half and i'll be probably be gone, what then. damn i hate to think about it...


+listening to: beep test by cameron caine