the misadventures of the home alone

yay i'm home alone, and will be for the next 25 days. i'm really excited. not that i haven't been home alone before but being left in charge of the whole place for close to a month is something new and liberating.

and i'm sure there will be a lot of really fun things to do, like trying my hands at actually cooking something edible for myself, waking up the dead at midnight with my favourite music, air-guitaring all over the house pretending to be a rockstar and throwing lavish theme parties all day long... erm, not quite for the parties.

anyways the incessant film watching has turned into a habit that i can't seem to kick. and my bio clock is completely messed up now. all i want to do during the day time is sleep and at night i'm like hyper-active, and i can't really stop watching them films now.

so last night i decided to re-watch some old movies that i've seen a long time ago. and in keeping with related themes/ actors/ directors, like the previous stint which involved philip hoffman, yesterday's two films were both related to sean penn.

the first one i decided to see again was Dead Man Walking, which i remembered first seeing during GP class in school. the subject was on crime and punishment and i remember distinctly that the film left a deep, deep imprint in my head. it just sort of stuck there. i'm not usually a sympathizer with petty criminals, but that film portrayed what can only be described as the human side of mathew poncelet (the protagonist in the film).


through sean penn's interpretation of the character, and his soulful performance, i sort of got to walk in his shoes for just a brief few moments. and sister helen (the other protagonist), played by susan sarandon, was perhaps the other reason why the human element was so strongly preserved. through her care and love for a murderer on death row, it made me question the morality behind the death penalty and my own values and beliefs.

i guess the reason behind her actions was not to make people sympathize with mathew poncelet, but rather just to take a moment and think for ourselves what we are actually doing. the question at stake is not whether poncelet is guilty of the charges, but rather whether it is justified to punish someone by taking a life for another. it begs you to just maybe take a step off your moral high ground and get your feet dirty and just rationalize for a moment.

also, another reason why this movie has a special place in my mind is because my absolute favourite singer of all time, eddie vedder (of pearl jam fame), contributed quite a few track for the soundtrack, and among them is a personal favourite entitled dead man. the first time i heard that song i went hysterical, because eddie vedder's voice was just so... appropriate for the movie. the sorrow, the nolstagia... needless to say i got myself a copy of the soundtrack just for that song.

the second film i saw was also another one of my personal favourites in terms of the mood and tone of it - Into the Wild.


it was the tale of "alexander supertramp" (christopher mccandless), a college graduate who donated all his savings to oxfam, cut off all contact with his family and just went on a back packing trip around the country and finally to where he'd always dreamed of going - the alaskan wilderness. he lived off whatever he had with him, be it the kindness of people, friendships or the wilderness. i guess it was his way of finding his place in this world and putting some meaning into his life.

if sean penn had been about 20 years younger, he'd be perfect for the role of christopher mccandless. but as things stand, it couldn't have gotten any better. now besides being one of the most inspiring actors of our time, what he brought to the table as a first time director was the actor's perspective. and this being his maiden effort also meant he wasn't bogged down by all the constructs and limitations brought about with other more established directors. there was and absence of rules, and an air of just having a go at it, much like how mccandless just had a go at his life.

and when i read an article some time back in time magazine about eddie vedder again lending his creative genius to the new sean penn film Into the Wild, you can imagine my excitement. the longstanding friendship between sean penn and eddie vedder goes way back (eddie vedder had contributed tracks to ealier sean penn engagements like I Am Sam), and is perhaps one of the most perfect marriages of creative geniuses of our time.


what was unique about this collaboration though is that the ENTIRE soundtrack is written and performed by eddie. i almost wet myself when i read that. that soundtrack remains to this day one of the most frequently played records in my collection.

it is just such a visionary thing, to be able to live your life as you see it. i don't think i'll ever be able to do that just yet. it's that yearning for freedom that i'm sure everyone has experienced, but few actually acted upon. it's too big a risk for most of us to simply let go.

so, for those of us who are not willing to let go just yet we can always watch the film and try as we may, much of it in vain, to grasp that elusive concept of being a man on the road. personally, the film just offers the briefest of respite from the almost mechanical lifestyles we lead.

for me, Into the Wild will always be my little piece of heaven...


+listening to: guaranteed by eddie vedder