wtfish?

Disclaimer: Reader discretion advised: Objectionable/Graphic content. May cause permanent psychological trauma.

It's been hell for the last 24 hours...

after 3 pairs of underpants, 2 pairs of shorts, 1 stack of newspaper, 1 computer chair, countless trips to the loo and i'm still feeling a bit queezy.

the trouble started on sunday night, when i went out for dinner with a bunch of friends and we ate at the manhattan fish market outlet in plaza singapura. and i remember choosing what was labelled as "Butter Cod" on the menu as my choice of fish. and to my delight it was delicious.

but on the way home, my stomach was grumbling all the way and when i finally reached home i had a minor episode of diarrhoea. nothing too serious, so i thought it must have been the bus being really cold and all.

nothing happened again after over the next 24 hours as i felt completely fine... and that's until last night. i started having these gassy farts and good golly they smell rancid. and then the wet farts came. yes, i'd never thought i'd see the day that this happened to me. it's not exactly a wet wet fart, it's just that everytime you fart, it leaves a little oily stain on your clothes. and it's BRIGHT ORANGE.

i started to freak out. and was thinking of going to the doctors. but then just to be sure i went and did a search on the internet. boy was i pissed off. i found out that what i was experiencing was directly linked to what i ate.


"Butter Cod" aka Escolar aka Orange Roughy is the culprit. the orange oily farts are caused by wax esters. it makes up 20 percent of the fish's body weight and humans CANNOT digest this oily substance. wax esters are there in the place of the good omega-3 fatty acids. i think it's because the fish is from deeper water.

WHY SELL THE STUFF IF IT DOES WHAT IT DOES? gee, i wonder why they call it Orange Roughy.

If it wasn't for the information i found i would've gone to the ER thinking the worst. and there i was sitting on a stack of newspaper with a paper towel folded in my crack last night debating whether or not i should risk sleeping. the thought of going downstairs to get a tampon and put it against my bum cheeks did cross my mind but I wouldn't be able to look at myself straight in the mirror ever again if i'd done that.

so kudos to manhattan fish market for not telling me the dangers of that motherf*cking piece of shit of a fish. here's a F*ck You too.

and whatever you do, DO NOT eat Escolar/Butter Cod/Orange Roughy/Slimhead and whatever other names they call it. even god can't save you from this one.

no, seriously. there's no cure/medication. you'll just have to wait for it to go away.


+listening to: come away with me by norah jones