hanging in the balance

it's another peaceful saturday night, or should i say sunday morning.


i watched into the wild for the 2nd time today with a couple of friends because the office downstairs just happened to have it in their dvd collection. it was definitely a different experience watching it with other people, and we had the lights off, and everyone sort of just took it all in.

it was also nice to have someone like natasha in the room, because she grew up in alaska, and has actually seen the magic bus in real life as depicted in the movie. somehow there was a sense of closeness that i haven't felt before when i watched it for the first time. maybe it's just the sudden epiphany about the reality, that somehow it actually did occur.

hollywood tend to have that negative dramatic effect on you. somehow at the back of your mind, even though your subconscious may have been mostly fooled, you know that the story was made up. but not this time though.

and this time round, the ending didn't make me as sad as compared to the first time. it actually felt kind of sweet. i guess wisdom comes to knowing why and how things occur the way they do once you've experienced them, maybe i have indeed grown wiser.

if mccandless hasn't died the way he did, had he come out of that alive, he would never have gotten the insight into what the whole truth is. he could have lived his whole life not knowing what he knew right at the end...

that beyond all selfish needs, and whatever satisfaction he got from doing what he wanted to do and who he wanted to be, HAPPINESS IS ONLY REAL WHEN SHARED.


+listening to: society by eddie vedder