oh my eff

this behemoth just arrived:

yes, i know you are making that face right now.

pardon me if i sound like a total geek. it's just way too exciting. this neat piece of gadgetry may be 50's technology and looks like a toy. it might also possess the psychedelic 70's hippie look. and it even has the austin powers-esque shag-tastic type font for its logo to boot. but don't judge a book by it's cover.

when you're not looking, it can bite your head off in a split second and you'd never know what hit you. because you're dead.

if i didn't know what it was, and if i had to put into words the sound this beast makes, i'd have no choice but to say that it was the sound of gods making love. there simply isn't another way of describing it.

i must say i am very impressed with the speed of which i've taken delivery of this delightful monster. i ordered it yesterday, and anywhere else it would have been "your item will be shipped next business day." that meant i would have to wait till monday morning for some bloke to wake up, have his coffee, stare at his computer screen and cringe at yet another order he had to fulfill, and then haphazardly register it into the system. and god knows when the item would actually arrive at my doorstep. down here we like to call it "if you can't deliver the goods in the next minute, someone else can do it for even less money". and that means weekends too. yea, sundays included.

i have no idea what the courier company is called, no one told me of any website i had to fiddle with, nor was there a tracking number for me to scribble down and lose in my pocket along with my pocket change and 40 million other things. and frankly i don't really care, because a man simply showed up at my door this morning looking like i owed him some money, yet had the good manners to bring my guitar amp inside. he even set it down as gently as he could like a baby.

now if only UPS or FEDEX would just show up at my door. i'm certain it is simply not in their vocabulary, i kid you not. just ask any of their delivery people and they'd look at you as though you're speaking an entirely alien language.

so no FEDEX, you don't live to deliver. just ask yourself this very simple question: "what did i do last sunday?" and if the answer has anything remotely related to the word "deliver", proceed to ask yourself this next question: "why am i lying?"

+listening to: gods making love