missing

feb 13. clear. lately i've been seeing the world in streams of consciousness. it's like one of those dreams where the lapse of time is obscured. and you don't really remember when you'd fallen into the slumber.
 
for the first time i can recall, i'm desperately missing home. and all my good friends. it doesn't seem to make sense that all the good things have to come to an end. all i have to hold on to now are picture albums and birthday cards. the more i look at them the harder it is to put it away.

tomorrow i'll be a year wiser. new year's never used to mean anything to me. i've only just realized that you really only start to cherish something when you no longer have it.

my grandma would always tell me to make a wish on new year's eve. so i wish not for fortune or fame. but just a little bit of hope. and something nice to happen. anything to lift me out of this shade of gray that's all around...


+listening to: somebody to love by jefferson airplane