what am i doing wrong

nothing feels quite as depressing than coming up short of your intended target. i knew as soon as i walked out of that room.

all the preparation and practices in the world didn't make it better. i thought i had everything. i thought i could finally stare that monster in the face and conquer it. all it took was one slip up. and panic sets in at the very last moment. it seems like nothing i do is ever good enough.

gone. just like that. i'm beat. tired. angry. at myself. i wish i would never have to wake up and face this error of a disproportionate magnitude, just slip into the depth of my desolation. there's no one to blame but me.


+listening to: nothing