#435

i'm scared of the reality, of the feeling of being lost. and then i make decisions based on that to shield myself from that empty feeling.

learning to move on, even if it means choosing not to do something fun like floorball to avoid the low afterwards that would inevitably put me into another slumber.

and then cupcakes... didn't know what people were talking about because i wasn't there. i was never a part of anything. the feeling of an outsider, nothing to talk about. silence. home.

and i wish people would stop fucking cracking jokes about me and my bike. i fucking hate it. but that's not gonna happen is it. as long as i ride there's jokes to be made. and i'd never stop riding.

+listening to: conversation with myself by jason mraz