again

why does it keep happening, the same scenario played over and over again. week after week. going there thinking i've done everything there is to prepare, panicking in the midst of it when the words and figures they stare back blankly at my face, coming out feeling depressed. disappointed.

every time i get defeated it takes a piece away from me, and all i could do is sit on my saddle and think about how i could have done it better. and then drown myself in the music. the only place where i feel safe, the only place where i could feel good about myself.

so i rode into the night, 29 mph. gotta do better than that. gotta do better. everything.

+listening to: song for a friend by jason mraz