the dilemma

i think of my life up to this point as a dilemma. i rationalize situations into infinitesimal divisions. of time, space and ultimately decisions, as if hoping the age old strategy of divide and conquer would somehow yield a different outcome, or an easier path.

herein lies the dilemma: to live life the way it was "supposed to be" or to live precariously?

i believe everyone has a flip side, the side that they don't want people to see/want people to see depending on situations and/or mood. to dabble in the realm of the unexpected, the dangerous or the exotic yet walking a line that's comfortably within the confines of the social norm. it's analogous to the millions of weekend road warriors, or part-time thrill seekers, or even tourist. if you think about it, it's just a word given to travelers who want to see the world yet are unprepared to give up the creature comforts of home and immerse themselves in the foreign surroundings.

hypocrite might be a little harsh. but somewhere along the line we've all become somewhat hypocritical. and we're very good at it. advocating for reduction of CO2 emission while eating and driving our way to ecological devastation. we vocally support the notion of a greener planet, yet are die-hard fans of everything petroleum derived, not that we consciously want to but because we've been enslaved by the convenience of it all. you still want your air-conditioning, don't you?

perhaps it is want that is the issue here. unrestrained, unlimited want. a human condition, an obsession that is being turned into almost a necessity. we create wants to satisfy our other wants. that's all we ever do. think about it, what have you ever done that is not related to something that you have always wanted? very little i suspect. maybe it is time for us all to look at the bigger picture.

so which path will it be? the well trekked or the less traveled? i think it all boils down to how one defines happiness. fundamentally we all want to be happy, while some of us think that what we do would ultimately culminate into the desired destination i call the land of happiness, others are merely content with the pursuit of that destination, and maybe derive a few simple pleasures along the way.

if at this juncture you're utterly confused about what the fuck i am saying, fret not. not everyone possesses the same reasons and logic. but if somehow you start to think that you actually got the point i'm trying to put forth, you don't. you must understand that everything i say is just paraphrased horseshit, triple wrapped in gold foil with a nice little ribbon to garnish. and do i have a potty mouth.


about the author: li xi has written over 20 self-help books and lives in des moines, iowa with his wife kiera and two kids, keith and eamon. they have a dog named oodles.

+listening to: nothing