regret

regret is probably the worst feeling on earth. more so than sorrow or sadness, more so than heartbreak.

you can literally feel regret in your chest, it's an indescribable hurt that tugs at all your innards at once. it is so fucking painful, it is so fucking real.

maybe the agony is also associated with not knowing how to remedy the situation, for after all what has been done cannot be undone. the scars were left, the impact were felt.

i've always lived by the motto "love all, trust a few, do wrong to none." i guess i've already trampled on the last one so many times that "i'm sorry" is starting to sound a little meaningless coming from my lips. so i'm left with regret, hope you can feel that maybe regret has an ounce of authenticity left in its name.

i wonder what good am i, if i'm just going to repeat the same mistakes. i guess that's just how i am, living life one mistake at a time. i've stopped counting.

+listening to: nothing