into the wild

i think these thoughts are long overdue...

somehow on the journey back into town last night, the subject of the film into the wild came up again. kat had mentioned she was disturbed by it, after having both watched the film and read the book. while i can't comment on the actual book that the film was based upon, i can however offer some of my thoughts on the film iteration.

i guess what makes it depressing to some may ultimately come down to the ending of the film. i think intrinsically we're always hoping for a "happily ever after" fairytale to any story. to me, chris mccandless's death was what put the whole story into perspective. if he'd lived, no one would have heard of his story, like so many other good stories out there.

that is not to say that death is what gave meaning to this story. it just brought it to our attention. a speckle in this universe of infinitely many lives. to many out there, he's still a madman, a lunatic who'd lost his mind. but what he did, what he pursued is a reflection on everyone and everything that is occurring around us. we live to pursue an ideal, we live to pursue our individual notions of happiness.

what gives the story meaning is not what became from him, but what he stood for. the freedom and determination to pursue, the bravery he displayed to live the way he wanted to live exactly. there's no pretentiousness there, just honesty and earnestness.

i probably will never be as resolute or courageous to pursue what i want and to break free from my obligations and the expectations which had been burdened upon me. nothing makes me happier every time i revisit that film. it makes me feel so free, it makes me feel hopeful that one day i'd be able to pursue the life i want. it makes me less troubled by who i am. it's my ticket to an escape even for a brief moment, to live vicariously through his eyes, to go to places i've longed to go to but would probably never have a chance to visit. so i continue to remind myself once in a while: live a little.

i leave you with an excerpt from the novel family happiness by leo tolstoy:

i have lived through much, and now i think i have found what is necessary for happiness. a quiet secluded life in the countryside, with the possibility of being useful to people to whom it is easy to do good, and who are not accustomed to have it done to them; then work which one hopes maybe of some use; then the rest, nature, book, music, love for one's neighbor -  such is my idea of happiness.

i guess everyone seeks different things in life. we all have different definitions and ideals about how our lives should be lived. do what you may, do what makes you happy, do what lets your soul shine.

+listening to: show me little shame by ben harper