Tuesday, May 20

my handwriting says it all

François SteynImage via Wikipediafirst off i'd like to assure myself and the entire rugby universe that i'm better than francois steyn at a lot of things, especially drop kicks. he looks amateurish in my presence, even though he is taller, bigger heavier. that's also where the crucial differences lie: he's stupid and ham-fisted while i on the other hand am intelligent and nimble.

i'm sure a lot of you are extremely puzzled by now, so allow me to cut the crap: today, i scored a drop kick from 53, 54 meters out. it's been a while. HOO-YA! (for those of you undiscerning rugby dunno-hows, that's more than halfway. and if you don't know what a drop kick is, close your eyes and repeat after me: heavenly father, i call upon your salvation. i am sofa king we tarded. amen/allah/mazel tov.)

ok onto my main point. now i usually don't participate in all the blogger gibberish quizzes and sorts. but then recently i saw something pretty interesting and decided to just try it out for the fun of it, and it turned out to be pretty accurate, mostly. but i'm sure a lot of it is just generalized comments that would probably fit the bill for the majority of the general public. so here it is:


Li uses judgment to make decisions. He is ruled by his head, not his heart. He is a cool, collected person who is usually unexpressive emotionally. Some may see him as unemotional. He does have emotions but has no need to express them. He is withdrawn into himself and enjoys being alone.

The circumstances when Li does express emotions include: extreme anger, extreme passion, and tremendous stress. If someone gets him mad enough to tell him off, he will not be sorry about it later. He puts a mark in his mind when someone angers him. He keeps track of these marks and when he hits that last mark he will let them know they have gone too far. He is ruled somewhat by self-interest. All his conclusions are made without outside emotional influence. He is very level-headed and will remain calm in an emergency situation. In a situation where other people might get hysterical, he has poise.

Li will work more efficiently if given space and time to be alone. He would rather not be surrounded by people constantly. In a relationship, he will show his love by the things he does rather than by the things he says. Saying "I love you" is not a needed routine because he feels his mate should already know. The only exception to this is if he has logically concluded that it is best for his mate to hear him express his love verbally.

Li is not subject to emotional appeals. If someone is selling a product to him, they will need to present only the facts. They should present them from a standpoint of his sound judgment. He will not be taken in by an emotional story about someone else. He will meet emergencies without getting hysterical and he will always ask "Is this best for me?"

People that write their letters in an average height and average size are moderate in their ability to interact socially. According to the data input, Li doesn't write too large or too small, indicating a balanced ability to be social and interact with others.

Li will demand respect and will expect others to treat him with honor and dignity. Li believes in his ideas and will expect other people to also respect them. He has a lot of pride.

Li is not facing something going on in his life today. He is deceiving himself about it. Often, Li's opinion of himself is different than those around him. This trait gives Li the ability to deny anything that does not agree with his "truth." This trait is not always something negative. It is only a defense mechanism allowing Li not to face some reality in his life at this time.

In reference to Li's mental abilities, he has a very investigating and creating mind. He investigates projects rapidly because he is curious about many things. He gets involved in many projects that seem good at the beginning, but he soon must slow down and look at all the angles. He probably gets too many things going at once. When Li slows down, then he becomes more creative than before. Since it takes time to be creative, he must slow down to do it. He then decides what projects he has time to finish. Thus he finishes at a slower pace than when he started the project.

He has the best of two kinds of minds. One is the quick investigating mind. The other is the creative mind. His mind thinks quick and rapidly in the investigative mode. He can learn quicker, investigate more, and think faster. Li can then switch into his low gear. When he is in the slower mode, he can be creative, remember longer and stack facts in a logical manner. He is more logical this way and can climb mental mountains with a much better grip.

Li is a practical person whose goals are planned, practical, and down to earth. This is typical of people with normal healthy self-esteem. He needs to visualize the end of a project before he starts. he finds joy in anticipation and planning. Notice that I said he plans everything he is going to do, that doesn't necessarily mean things go as planned. Li basically feels good about himself. He has a positive self-esteem which contributes to his success. He feels he has the ability to achieve anything he sets his mind to. However, he sets his goals using practicality-- not too "out of reach". He has enough self-confidence to leave a bad situation, yet, he will not take great risks, as they relate to his goals. A good esteem is one key to a happy life. Although there is room for improvement in the confidence catagery, his self-perception is better than average.

Li is sarcastic. This is a defense mechanism designed to protect his ego when he feels hurt. He pokes people harder than he gets poked. These sarcastic remarks can be very funny. They can also be harsh, bitter, and caustic at the same time.

Something is incomplete in Li's life. He feels frustration relating to his physical needs and desires. Somewhere in his life there is some disappointment, non-fulfillment, and interruption. This is very likely to relate to Li's sexual needs.

Li has a healthy imagination and displays a fair amount of trust. He lets new people into his circle of friends. He uses his imagination to understand new ideas, things, and people.





+listening to: afro blue by the derek trucks band


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Sunday, May 18

forms

i'm sick and tired of filling out forms. there are like a million of them. thinking about all the stuff i need to do in the next couple of weeks also makes me sick: seeing a doctor to get my vaccine shots, taking new passport photos, going to the bank for financial statements, going to the canadian high comission, going to the american embassy, working out a schedule to fit in both a mini vacation on the west coast and going to school, booking flights, booking hotel, booking long-haul bus service, booking summer consultation dates, doing tutorials, studying for placement exams, etc. etc. i really need an uber hot personal assistant.


+listening to: man of the hour by pearl jam


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Saturday, May 17

what is it with them TV people?

it puzzles me: why in the name of the almighty, are the TV people being such anal probes during such a crucial period of my personal development, when i have all the time in the world to enjoy something that only old people and professional couch potatoes get to enjoy.

first there was the 100 day strike by the writers' guild. yeah okay, fair enough, i can understand why they're doing it, they want their names in bigger fonts when the credits roll at the end of the show. the industry paid around $2 billion for that, when someone at the drawing desk could have just flipped a switch to make 'em bigger. well it's the americans, taking the easy way out is simply too "cheap" for them.


and that really tested my patience quite a bit, living without house and grey's anatomy among other great shows for almost 3 months. it's akin to not being able to open your christmas present until christmas when it's sitting right there staring at you. quite a method for torture.

and today i saw probably one of the most brilliant episodes of grey's anatomy, and last week's house was also unbelievably hilarious (i can't wait till monday). now just when i thought everything is finally falling into place, i hear about the F.A.G.s possibly going on strike too. to be fair they're actually the S.A.G. (or screen actors guild), but were famously dubbed the "film actors guild" (hence F.A.G.) in team america world police.

i just cannot stomach this blasphemy anymore. it's like they're trying to take away what little luxury i have left in my life. if they were to go on strike, i think i will just give up on life altogether and go be a monk or something. who needs tv when you're a monk?

jesi! (that's plural for jesus) can't we have some good ol' fashioned tv without all the poppycock?


+listening to: let the computer decide by paul gilbert


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Friday, May 16

of earthquakes and schools

This bubble map shows the global distribution of spending on information and communication technologies in 2005 as a percentage of the top market (USA - $1,096,112,600,000).Image via Wikipediafunny how a commentator (can't remember from where) said that in an earthquake, he'd probably be safer with a bunch of nuclear warheads in some military building than in a school.

sad isn't it? the fact that it's almost seemed as a no-brainer that a military installation has to be built to be unusually sturdy while it's acceptable for a school to go down like a deck of cards under the slightest tremor, and that we value stuff that have the potential to kill millions over people that have the potential to shape our future.

the earthquake in china did not just expose a localised problem. i believe it has highlighted a worldwide pandemic of a social disease, that "we'll fix it when it's broken". but the thing is, we're not talking about something that you can just chuck some dollars in and then expect everything to get back to normal.

of course there have been efforts in earthquake prone countries like japan to make the schools safer, but for the rest of the impoverished countries in asia, what then? i think countries are sending out the wrong message that they care nothing for the keystones of communities. and it seems like the problem not only exists in poor countries. even developed countries like canada and america are facing similar situations. in their case, it's rather not an issue with money or technology, but with societal inertia, the lack of access to basic safety information or knowledge of simple ways to bolster buildings so they'll survive an earthquake.

i have no idea why i feel so strongly about this. it's just that i can't get the images of children being crushed to death in school buildings out of my head. it's just really sad, and it's so so aggravating that something totally avoidable caused so much grief.


to those who perished: R. I. P.


+listening to: waiting on the world to change by john mayer


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Thursday, May 15

lost touch

my dream of becoming francois steyn has been decimated. my drop kicking abilities have gone backwards. i can't get the sweet spot anymore, and i'm slicing kicks horribly. but still got the legs to hit it from the halfway mark though, even though it's a bit off. argh... i'm a little peeved.

nevermind me though. today i felt... fruitful.

when i arrived at training early at 3.40, the boys were already doing their warm-ups. not 1 or 2, there must have been 7 or 8 of them. they were already doing some passes and kicking around. considering there are a total of probably 12 people, things have finally started to change.

i'm starting to see some light now. their passes have improved, some of the tackles are awesome, and some are even showing some skill and speed. is the one man crusade finally working? no it's not a one man crusade anymore. somehow maybe they understood, somewhere along, some of them might have just fallen in love with it.

i'm starting to see some hunger, to become better, to get it right. and all these despite my caustic persona on the pitch. i have to admit, once i step onto the pitch i can turn into a nasty f*cker and i definitely do NOT have the best temper around, i can't help it.

they might have even started to enjoy it. i'm certainly enjoying it even though i think i appear to be screaming my head off all the time. the truth is, i've never felt more alive, and i have never been more motivated, or more into it. i want to help them go where they've never even dreamed of going before, and if any group of individuals were going to do it, it ought to be them. but time is so short. another month and a half and i'll be probably be gone, what then. damn i hate to think about it...


+listening to: beep test by cameron caine


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Wednesday, May 14

wednesday

it's wednesday again. why?

the perfect week somehow always seems to be ruined by a shitty wednesday. it's as if wednesday for me is destined for misery. and it never fails to amaze me why some of the worst storms i've ever seen occurs on wednesdays - the only day of the week that i have to travel afar. today, again, is such a day. worse still, wednesday also means tutoring my least favourite student.

so i was all wet by the time i got to the mrt station, even though my house is only about 200 meters from the station. and it didn't really help that there was a huge wet spot on the front of my pants. even i thought i wet myself.


then there was the dreadful journey to this ludicrous estate on the other side of singapore, where it is rather inaccessible by public transport to a poor lad like me. because, frankly, everyone there is so lazy they seem to do everything with their fancy cars. even things like going down the driveway to pickup the mail. well, maybe it's because they've all got such obscene mansions that their mailboxes is like 10 miles away from their doors.

and you'll know when you're there because they've got every store imaginable just for their own little estate, but things are that little bit fancier there. the water from their taps are apparently not water, i think they call it elixir of life over there. the air they breathe is enriched with platinum dust, health benefits unknown. they seem to have cold storage stores like us regular joes, but upon close inspection, the sign says "cold storage SPECIALTY", and you're only allowed inside if you have a net worth exceeding a trillion dollars. even the shopping trolley's are bigger in size, and plated in solid gold. and you'd think people would try and steal it, oh no you're wrong, they can't even be bothered. why steal some lousy shopping cart plated in gold when your entire possession is plated in pure platinum, including the family pets and kids. now that's what i call taking the moral high ground.

and before i go absolutely insane, i must say that certain people are such gentlemen, whom i have much respect for. like alex and andreas' (my students) dad. so after an agonizing hour with alex repeating the same stuff we've done over the past few weeks. he doesn't remember a thing, neither did he do his homework, as usual. it feels like i'd be better off tutoring a rock.

and then finally when the agony is over and i look forward to tutoring andreas, who's a complete opposite of his brother, i was told he was on a school trip. but their dad generously remunerated me in full even though i didn't tutor andreas and he insisted that i take it even when i declined. i'm genuinely surprised by it.

argh... off to watch some more nonsensical dr. house. i need a serious pick-me-up. drowning myself in a bathtub of tequila would be heavenly, or some magical pill that could make wednesdays go away...


+listening to: night prowler by ac/dc


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Tuesday, May 13

a day of mourning, remember may 12

the shockwaves came,
no one knew.
excited, the kids screamed,
damned if they thought it was cool.
how could they have known,
of the creature beneath.
with malice it came,
but who do we blame.

only when the walls fell,
bricks, more bricks, they knew.
frantic, panic,
water in your eyes, hearing more acute.
the exit, where's the exit,
too late.
the walls, the walls,
where are they.

nothing, void, the abyss,
mommy, where are you.
is anyone out there,
somebody help please.
the smell of death,
premonition of doom.
kids, hang in there,
just a little while longer.

they're coming my dear.
they're coming.





if you'd like to make a donation to the victims of the earthquake:
please visit redcross.org.cn OR text 1 or 2 to (+86) 1069999301, text messages are 1 or 2 rmb respectively.



+listening to: hymn to the fallen by john williams


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Monday, May 12

victory is sweet

today was a big day, well for 2 schools anyways. but i've always enjoyed a great rugby match any day. so it goes, the A division final between saints and asci.

this year is kind of special though, for the first time ever (i think) it's held at the padang. it's really AWESOME to see a match at padang. if you've never witnessed a rugby match at padang, i suggest you put it down as one of the things to do before you er... you know, expire. well in singapore anyways.



the atmosphere was absolutely electrifying with supporters surrounding all four sides of the field, so i had to settle for the steps of the city hall building, but the view was splendid nonetheless. there was certainly no shortage of drama as a couple of conversions evaded the net behind the goal post designed to catch them and landed the road. one of them unfortunately hit a car. it was great fun to watch, well i guess not so fun for the driver of the car to see a flying projectile coming at him.

anyways as expected asci won. oh well... it was still a great spectacle to witness.

on another note i just saw a great, great movie today entitled The Diving Bell and the Butterfly.


i sort of just watched it out of curiosity because i thought the title was kind of peculiar and i inferred that it's got something to do with diving or something. oh how wrong i was.

first off it's a french film, which totally caught me by surprise (happily surprised; i have a penchant for tasty foreign films). i must say it was one of the most refreshing films i have ever seen, the cinematography, the way the stories were told. it's just so... peaceful and gives you this strange, ambivalent sensation between existence and nothingness.

i would have preferred the ending to be a happy one though, but i can understand why the ending had to be tragic, as it serves as a closure for the protagonist in the film. a happy ending would have made everything seem a bit... cheesy. if you want to see a movie told in a unique way that you've probably never seen before, or have a knack for movies that make your mind run amuck because all your thoughts somehow all seem to be going berserk at once, you simply HAVE TO see it. it might just change your life. no, seriously.


+listening to: crying by aerosmith


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