of savages and masterclasses

for the past few days i've been watching films incessantly, and at hours when most people are sound asleep. i simply couldn't help it.

everytime i tried to catch some euro '08 actions, i always end up falling asleep right after the first half. i just can't make it past the boredom of having to wait for the half time commentator gibberish. so what i did for the past couple of nights was to fill myself up with a huge mug of coffee before the games start so i'd be awake literally the whole night long.

this however presented it with another unique challenge. whenever half time did arrive, i find myself with nothing in particular to do, so what i always do is to go to my download folder and have a look around. and then i'm reminded of the many movies which i haven't even watched so inevitably i end up clicking on one of them. the itchy fingers. and from there on, there's no turning back...

so onto my main point: usually i choose films to watch purely based on their titles. it's always hits and misses, and you never know what you'll get. but on those rare occasions when you find a gem out of all those mainstream junk, you are really satisfied with yourself on making the leap of faith because otherwise you would have never heard of it.


The Savages was such a film. initially i thought it was some kind of wild western film with lots of action but it turned out to be an incredible tale of familial relationships between a dying father, a brother and a sister. i'm a sucker for dramas depicting a depth of characters and this one sure has plenty to offer.

on the surface it seems like the ultimate tragedy and speaks of the bitter links between a failed parent and the damaged lives of his children - both struggling writers trying to land the big break, one of whom is living under the illusion of the perfect romance and the other letting the love of his life go and not realizing what he was doing.

i guess the notion that both of them somehow "failed" at their own relationships serves in turn as the reminiscent side effects of not having really been "loved" by their dad. and so one of them tried to seek instant gratification in a married man assuming that was love, while the other had met the love of his life only failing to realize what it was before letting go.

and this whole tale of two completely separate tragedies was then inexplicably intertwined when their father was diagnosed with dementia, and was quickly dying. their struggle to take care of him and finally knowing how much they loved him when he passed away seemed to have restored faith and gave them the courage to love again.

the filmed is somewhat of a hybrid between a complete tragedy and a dark comedy, because there were moments of lightness and humour which are derived from watching the interactions between the characters. plus the soundtrack had a really cheeky feeling to it at times which really made this film something of a unique piece.

once again, philip hoffman (one of my favourite actors) has delivered in spades with his touching performance. it seems that whatever role he plays, he adds that midas touch to it that just makes it such a joy to watch. and it's because of that precise reason that made me decide to revisit another classic of our time, which also happens to be one of my favourite films of all time - Capote.


i just wanted to be reminded of that electrifying performance of his again, which in my opinion is arguably one of the best lead performances of all time, certainly up there with brando in The Godfather. the fact that he alone was the guiding force of the entire film made it seem at times like a monologue, nevertheless you're simply drawn to his character. and i honestly think he was the only person on this planet up to the job of playing truman capote, who himself was quite a handful in person. seriously, this film is nothing short of a masterclass for all the other actors out there. there are plenty of good actors around, but you'll know it when you see a great one.

so do your self a favour and go get a copy of The Savages and watch it. you'll definitely be left with a lot of thoughts afterwards, about how you'd take care of your parents when they can no longer take care of themselves, and about your own family and the intricate relationships. and if in the most unlikely of events that you have not seen Capote yet, i'm really lost for words here, except that i wanna give you a big L for love. go watch it already you loser.


+listening to: help the poor by b.b. king

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goodbye powershot, hello lumix

i've been kinda peeved for the past week or so, because my trusty canon powershot (which is built like a tank) has decided that it's not worth living anymore and hence took it's own life for better or worse.

but i guess the timing was kind of apt, because it only decided to give up its last gasp of life right after its final assignment and not a moment before, and personally that one assignment was worth everything. as i said goodbye to my trusty friend, i'm left with a very pretty piece of paper weight. it's in a gorgeous shade of brushed metallic silver and is just as lethal when used as a weapon to cause personal harm as the day i bought it.

so today i headed down to the pc show expecting a leisurely stroll hunting for a new camera and the moment i arrived at the mrt i knew i was an idiot.


the last time i saw this many people crammed into such a tight space was during a dream theater concert, but i didn't mind then because i was headbanging to my favourite band and sharing the same love for the music as those strangers around me.

it's a whole different story when the people around you are all heading to the same destination and being cut-throat bitches every step of the way. there were people trying to one up each other by getting to the elevator the fastest, there were people trying to ride the escalator even though it would have caused a lot less congestions if they took the 10 steps of stairs instead, there were tall people, short people, fat people, thin people, beautiful people, ugly people... to put it briefly, there were A LOT of people.

so after looking at a few booths, i finally settled on a lumix compact camera that was around my budget and proceeded to evacuate immediately. but having said all that, heading to the pc show does have its merit though: for one the price is cheaper than if i were to buy it from a normal appliances store. besides, the vendors are pretty generous with the freebies too. i got a camera case, two 4gb sdhc memory cards, a card reader and two batteries with the camera purchase along with a host of other misc stuff that i'll probably never use like mini tripod, lens cleaning kit, screen protector, etc.

so you can say that i'm one happy customer (at least for today).


and oh... forgot to buy something for my dad. since when did father's day become such a huge thing? i must be filial, i must be filial, i must be filial...


+listening to: hymn by eddie vedder

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pre-departure, stand in black

woohoo! i'm still high from the pre-departure briefing for uni. kudos to the UIUC singapore students association for organising this event. it was completely the opposite of what i had in mind. the venue where it was held was also a really SUPERB and cozy lounge like place in raffles tower with a SPLENDID view. i just wish i lived there.

the briefing itself took up about an hour with some really helpful info and experiences from current seniors but what i really enjoyed was the lunch afterwards and mingling with all those really cool people. it's such a diverse group too with exchange students and freshmen mixed together but i mostly stuck to the freshmen group.

got to know some people from school who are going to UIUC as well, and i was quite shocked to see some familiar faces! that aside i just felt completely at home for some reason and made some funky new friends. stayed afterwards all the way till 2-ish chatting with the seniors and i'm really looking forward to college now!

and on a scintillating side-note, the men in black beat england in the most definitive of fashions. final score 37 - 20 to the all blacks. this ought to shut all the critics and cynics up for whatever reasons. they've demonstrated today that they're still a force to be reckoned with. and my man for today's test was ma'a nonu.


he's the most divine combination power, pace and skill for an inside center. it's the holy trinity of the perfect qualities coming together as one. the savagery slashing steps, the brute strength and the most exquisite handling abilities, it doesn't get any better than that. it's like seeing a young tana umaga but twice as brutal!

ok, off to watch the springboks cane wales again...


+listening to: aces high by iron maiden

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gangbang season: first blood part II

besides my hair being all white, and smelling like baby powder all over, i'm waaayyy too stoned to care. almost wanted to just let go of my bodily functions on the way home.

the pizza was rancid. one of them was a little under cooked so as usual we made a huge deal about it on the phone and got the same order sent again for free. and by the time we finished ALL the pizzas, i could have just puked right there on the spot.

'nuff said. i'm gonna go crash now.

charlie and mike sluggin it out on fifa. he screams whenever the action heats up but no one understands him. it resembles neither korean nor english. i guess it's some sort of kenglish

3 way pool is messed up... no, seriously

baby powder and white hair, i don't even wanna explain how that started

SICK!

it's a long way from home...

+listening to: nothing

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gangbang season: first blood - Team SINEP!

today was the day that i've been looking forward to all week. you see, all the ntu old skool dudes have returned from overseas engagements (read: college) to reunite once again. and to celebrate this inaugural event, some douche bag decided to sign us up for the champions of the cage football tournament, well at... the cage.

rendezvoused with the boys in the morning at jurong east mrt and hopped on the train. it smelt like someone had just taken a dump. and to my horror, i was informed that our korean rock in defense, wonil-a.k.a.-charlie-a.k.a.-baboon "ji-sung" park was down with the runs or some shit like that which rendered him immobile and unable to play in the tournament. apparently he couldn't stop shitting and vomiting, and was having a fever.

we sort of joked about how he had the ebola virus and we were laughing so hard that my stomach hurt. and the lady sitting beside me obviously couldn't help herself and joined us in the laughing spaz... laughing is contagious after all.

making our way to the cage

arriving at the cage

Team SINEP chilling out before the game

so the match: after such a long absence from the pitch for all but a couple of the old skool members (akash, sam, sutha, me, dan and mike), we actually did pretty amazing. Team SINEP, that's us, remained unbeaten in the group stages!

we were top of the table with 8 points, from 2 wins and 2 draws for a while before being overtaken by another team with 3 wins and 1 loss. still, i'm pretty damn proud that we were the only unbeaten team in our group, and probably one of the few in the tournament up till that point. so Team SINEP proudly advanced past the group stages! (there were 4 groups of 5 teams each and the top 2 teams of each group advance to knock-out).

the pitch

then came the quarter-finals. we were leading the other team 2 - 0 at about half time (each match was 20 min), and looked all set for an exciting finish to advance to the semis. but somehow, the other team scored a phantom goal with 5 mins to go, which clearly was not a goal because it bounced off the upright. the referee was obviously not on our side.

so being the gentlemen we are, we graciously let it go. then it happened again - the referee called for the goal kick but somehow changed his mind and called for a corner, and amidst the confusion, and the mad scramble that ensued, the other team managed to sneak one past our goalie, for a full-time score of 2 - 2.

the group stages

Team SINEP in blue bibs in the quarters

as it was the knock out stage, a penalty shootout followed. there were to be 3 for each side before it went to sudden death. our goalie (akash) did brilliant to save the first shot, which followed by dan converting the first penalty for us. but then it all went wrong for the 2nd shot. what was clearly an awesome save by our goalie, was ruled by the ref as a goal for the other team.

it was not even funny, the ref was only 3 meters away. he must have been really blind. even the other team knew it wasn't a goal. to cut a long story short, we lost the penalty shootout and bowed out in the most ridiculous of fashions.

final score: Team SINEP 2 - Referee 3.

we could have won that game 3 times over but instead were left to cry like a bitch to our mamas. of course anyone could have argued that shit happens sometimes, but then again, 3 times in 1 match? isn't that kinda shitty? and to make matters worse, i missed the crucial penalty that would have kept us in the game, and dan got sent off right at the end for telling the other team not to yell at the referee.

if there was one expression that could sum up the referee, it is our team name spelt backwards.

but overall i had tonnes of fun today. just seeing some of the looks on the faces of the people we beat - priceless. especially when there were always some dust-ups during the matches because all the members from Team SINEP pretty much grew up with a brand of pretty physical football. and c'mon, being the only team whose name actually means something when spelt backwards, that's pretty sweet isn't it?


highlights of the day:

• star striker dan lund scores in every single fixture of Team SINEP
• goalie akash goel ditches his position and ran the whole length of the pitch to score a sensational goal up front after he calmly collected the ball in his box and then proceeded to dribbling past everyone on the other team
• midfielder/defender mike meguid scores a sensual volley from a corner... SENSUAL
• THE man in defence li "X" xi takes 2 in the face for the team and blocks countless other attempts to ensure Team SINEP went through the group stages without a hitch
  

what a hell of a way to kick off the gangbang season. can't wait for tomorrow night's mayhem at yunan corner!


+listening to: shotgun blues by guns n' roses

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the final stretch

11 june... time doesn't fly, time warp-drives. in exactly 30 days i'll be leaving this island that i've called home for the past 10 years. it's a peculiar feeling, to be heading "home", yet having seen so little and known so little about it. the early memories are all but faded by now. things have changed, drastically.


to think that i've only been back home around 6 times in the past decade is quite unbelievable in hindsight. there was always something up whenever plans were made: school camps, projects, holidays remedial, vacations elsewhere, etc.

the truth is that i'm not a homely person, that is to say i don't feel a tinge of excitement like most people when they are about to head home per se; i sort of nestle wherever i am and try to make myself as comfortable as possible. and given enough time, just about anywhere feels homely enough that i wouldn't want to leave.

but this time would be different. i'd be home for at least a month and a half. hopefully i could really take the time to do certain things that i've always wanted to do, like going on a backpacking trip by myself to tibet (don't know if it's possible), visiting the himalayas, skiing, learning to drive, surfing... sort of my own mini version of the Bucket List (before i hand my life as i know it over to college that is). if you haven't seen that film, i suggest you do because it really inspires you to go out there and do something with your life, no matter who or how old you are.

on a side note, i'm beginning to write again. which is a good thing, because lately nothing much has been popping up in that mess of a mind of mine. it's weird but sometimes words and phrases just spring up like mushrooms out of nowhere at the most unlikely and ungainly moments, like when i'm doing my morning number 2, or watching tv. ah well i better get back to putting them down before i lose them. the most beautiful things in life usually don't come by that often.

peace.


+listening to: hear me lord by bonnie raitt

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overdue picture post

finally, here's the long overdue picture post. click on read more for all the photos.

fresh morning air, sweet smell of dew, a pair of cleats, an odd shaped ball: pure bliss

"ELBOWS OUT! i want to see faster hands! one fluid motion!"

"Eh, can y'all use some common sense or not?"

"ALWAYS go on his OUTSIDE shoulder if you're going for the offload!"

"... and DON'T stop pumping your legs in the contact situation! DRIVE THROUGH!"

"i want y'all to blow past the opposition! leave him no chance to steal the ball!"

"THAT'S WHAT I WANT TO SEE! demolish the opposition!" (after i got pwned in the ruck...)

"interactive" video analysis. the room smells great from junzhe's facial expression

"MAKAN then GO SCHOOL! hit S1!"

sweet offload, and... TRY!

serious overkill in the ruck

white line fever

the tunnel

a "small token of appreciation" from the boys that will add a further 5 kilos to my already incendiary amount to things to lug home...

group shot

+listening to: you've got to hide your love away by eddie vedder

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scorned ashes, rising flames

today was the bittersweet ending to a fairytale, no... a tale of brilliance, of failures, of hopes and banes, of disappointments and heartwarming moments, and of dreams and beliefs.

it seems like just yesterday that i was thinking about the arduous journey of the months ahead. planning, doubting my own abilities and determination, being lost and confused. looking back, it did become a monumental struggle - to be disappointed time and time again, and trying to stay positive, trying to keep my faith, hoping and believing.

people have always told me not to get my hopes up, because i will get hurt deeply if things don't turn out well. i knew that all along, but no matter how hard i tried to detach myself from the reality, i couldn't. it means too much to me, this game, this team.

i have never devoted myself in such entirety before, and i don't think there will be many more instances where i'll be doing that again. but i'm really glad that i took the road less traveled. for once i've let go of all the voices inside of my head telling me what to do and just did what i felt was the right thing. i did what i wanted to do deep down, i did what i knew i had to do.

and i can't help but think about those times when i felt so down and hopeless about the state of things that i wanted to give up. i'm glad i didn't, i'm glad that i stuck it out. seeing these boys, no, gentlemen slug it out under the glaring afternoon sun even though i was screaming at them at the top of my lungs, everything just seemed to make sense to me now.

i still remember one of my earlier remarks when i chose to embark on this journey, that when i look over my shoulder come time for me to leave, i'd see them not as individuals but as one - honestly it was merely wishful thinking, but it did happen.

and i'm thankful for that, for those magnificently painful and unforgettably saccharine memories. i feel as though i've done something that i can be truly proud of; i feel as though i've planted the seeds of passion that may one day see itself at full bloom.

the strange thing is, i think they have taught me as much as i hope i've taught them. the lessons i had in humility were staggering. it made me look down in shame, and reflect about my values and perspectives on other people. i am used to being judgmental about everything, that's until i was truly humbled by some of their words and deeds.

and now more than ever, they made me realize just how much i love my school, my alma mater. looking at them doing the whoosh seem to turn back the clock to those moments right before the matches were about to start, wearing my school crest on my chest, squeezed tightly in a huddle. these are also the same people who made me realize that if i had a chance to do it all over again, and i get to play for whichever team i want, i'd still play for hwachong, over and over again.

was it worth all the trouble? no. it's worth infinite times more, it's worth every day, every hour, every minute and every second of it. i lived for those moments.

there're things in life that one would bound to forget, but for me, this chapter of my life would always linger back there somewhere in my mind. i can't even begin to think about asking for anything more.

so this is it... scorned ashes, rising flames...

don't look down

NEVER stop believing

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