it's almost 3 in the morning.
just got back from a day of senseless fun. enjoyed it while it last, feeling empty.
essay - not started
pre-lab - untouched
machine problem - stuck
math homework - don't wanna think about it
exams - in a weeks time
didn't get any work done for the weekend. but aren't we supposed to enjoy our weekends. i need time to think, to reflect, to ponder and not just to do everything frantically.
homecoming weekend didn't turn out to be as good as i thought. we lost at home to minnesota, which was pretty bad. the clock literally had 10 seconds to go, and we had one shot at getting the touch down that would level the score.
i think what i am afraid of is losing my grasp on that last opportunity, because many times in life you only get one shot. i know what loss and defeat feels like - it's bitter and putrid. that's why i've always strived to land that touch down, to taste victory.
but so far that try line has been illusive. i feel alone, like one versus fifteen.
i don't know if i'll eventually get there. that's what i have to find out for myself. but one thing is certain - when i do finally get over the try line, i'll act like i've been there before.
+listening to: red mosquito by pearl jam
Sunday, October 12
| that illusive try line |  |
Wednesday, October 8
| hmm... interesting | |
check it out:
i love how they did the one captioned "at the office", with one hand on the phone. ROFL. rite.
and on a completely unrelated note, something interesting also happened during math today
*in the middle of the lecture*
professor: "... and the blue line represents the direction of L1 mapped from Rn to Rm, and the orange line represents the direction of L2 mapped from Rn to Rm, and that should be it."
student A: "sir, the orange line is wrong'
professor: ''er... nope it is... absolutely CORRECT... unless you're colourblind."
student B (at back of class): "don't make fun of colourblind people."
professor: "i'm irish, i can make fun of whoever i like."
*lecture goes on for 5 min*
professor: "and the vector p should point in this direction... oop hold on a minute, i got my directions mixed up."
student B (mutters): "irish fucks can't tell left from right!"
*small commotion*
professor: "what was that? if you are trying to say something funny, you should speak up."
student B: ''irish people can't tell their left from right."
professor: "eh... that's not what you said a moment ago. unless i'm drunk."
*lecture hall burst into spontaneous laughter*
*lecture continues*
+listening to: make you feel better by red hot chili peppers
Sunday, October 5
| couple of things you should know | |
have you ever paid any attention to the people who made those cardboard boxes for all your pizza deliveries?
i think it's time you did. they're obviously trying to send a message.
i think pretty soon they'll start to predict what the future might hold, out of total and absolute boredom. it's either that or they're really smashed.
which brings me to the next point of this post.
+listening to: millworker by james taylor
» Read the Full Post of " couple of things you should know "...
Thursday, October 2
| Lobster Nite!!! | |
omg lobster night at the dining hall. i might have shat myself while eating the lobsters. it's orgasmic...
even bibs for eating lobsters are provided!
new england clam bake!
angry angry lobster
the juicy, succulent, irresistible
the galore
the aftermath xD+listening to: the sound of fire alarm
Wednesday, October 1
| Fall | |
fall arrived in the most flamboyant of fashions. unlike the subtlety of spring, which creeps in on you and keeps you guessing with anticipation, fall is unpretentious, almost to the point of bluntness.
as i woke up today, it was freezing outside. the weather widget on my computer says it's 3 degrees celcius out. the usually welcoming morning air suddenly turned painfully piercing, and for the first time as far as i could remember, i turned the tap in the bathroom sink towards the "warm" side.
the colours seem to have produced the starkest of contrast overnight. wilted foliage and the broken twigs and branches on the floor made the walk to the morning class that much more scenic. the flaming maple leaves and those that refused to shed their shades of green serve as a constant reminder that fall is still very much a work in progress, on a grand scale.
the lazy sunlight renders blotches of light, dark, light, dark all over campustown like a shadow puppeteer. traversing through the quad thus presented some of the most interesting challenges: keeping yourself in the warm and fuzzy sunshine while picking the shortest route to get to the other side in this freezing weather.
the quad squirrels seemed much more restrained, just foraging around an occasional tree looking for fallen pine nuts and whatever they can find i suppose; for once they're not chasing each other frantically around the place.
steaming breaths, hands in pockets, hooded sweaters; and then there's the odd rebel or two still in bermudas and t-shirt. the rosy cheeks of those on bycicles trying to fight the windchill, and the looks of discomfort on the faces of those who decided to brave the sardine-packed campus shuttle - it is as much about the change of seasons as it is about the people.
a fistful of colours, splashed onto the 50 or so acres of stunning backdrop. so ends september, fall comes knocking.
+listening to: wake me up when september ends by green day
Sunday, September 28
| the road to perdition | |
it's been a long time since i've sat down to properly watch a movie, even though friday night movie marathons are common sights in the various dorm rooms, some times with up to 16 people squeezed into the tiny space.
i love watching films by myself, usually in the dead of the night, in my case at 4am in the morning. this movie is not new to me. in fact i have already seen it a couple of times. but this time i was watching it with an objective in mind - i chose it as the subject of my very first formal essay for my film class.
sam mendes is an immense talent. if you have seen american beauty, you would have remembered his penchant for the unconventional. the road to perdition also happened to be his second outing with conrad hall as the cinematographer, who is largely responsible for both's films' aethetics.
plot aside, this time i would be mainly looking at the cinematography aspect, and the mis-en-scene (big word) techniques employed by the director to tell the story. it is very much interesting to see the amalgamation of both mendes' and hall's ideas in every shot or scene.
and the interesting choice of medium that hall decided to print the film on (kodak's vision premier print stock) which gave much stronger blacks and saturates the colour so it tended towards black and white.
what's more interesting is that this movie is also set in the 1930s, in the depth of the depression, in chi-town! probably the most gangster-esque place other than new york. i hate it though, how people always compare every other gangster flick to the godfather. road to perdition is a complete different creature. i'd say it's a lot closer to its graphic novel roots - way darker, grungier, colder.
just a few interesting pics on how they they framed the scenes. the lighting techniques they used are pretty rad to say the least. actually... it's absolutely mind-bloggling.
this is one of my favourite scenes in the movie: the classic gangland warzone
and this is the studio set up
again, the lighting and tone in the diner makes it look so much like a 30s painting
how can you not mesmerized by the colours and textures? it's just so quintisentially american+listening to: another alternative by frank gambale
Wednesday, September 24
| 24 | |
it's about 24 hours to doomsday - the third of my four mid-terms this time round. the thought of the already irreversibly marooned math exam on monday does little to boost my self esteem.
these few days have been... awkward.
awkward behaviors, awkward schedules, awkward decisions to make, awkward situations to endure.
the usual cheeriness in me are all gone, and to be honest some might even consider certain behaviors to be anti-social. i just feel so tired everyday after classes that i barely have time to do things that i enjoy. and this is only my freshmen year. people have always told me that u of i's electrical engineering program is rigorous, i guess this is what rigorous means.
thank god for gen ed classes, they provide the briefest of respites from the mundane, facts-laden technical courses. and the funny thing is i actually look forward to doing my CINE 104 (a film class) homework. it sometimes makes me wonder if i've chosen the right major.
it's not that i hate engineering, but i really envy the people in my classes who are always in the front row, who listen to the professors speak as if god himself were delivering a message. it's that thirst for knowledge that i'm envious of, and of course that intrinsic understanding of the subject that seem to come so naturally to them.
i yearn to be in that group of the select few, who were there for the sole reason of wanting to be there and nowhere else. and the worst part is that i know i would never be able to be the best at what i do if that huge void is not filled by something as absolute as passion.
i wanna feel alive again, i wanna feel like the way i feel every time i step onto the rugby pitch, every second of my life. what's my calling in life?
+listening to: gravity by john mayer trio
