empire of the sun

on a moving train.

as the afternoon sun sets and i sit by the window listening to jeff buckley's hallelujah, a sort of surreal sate of mind came over me. the closest word i can think of is suspended animation. it's as though time had stopped and i was trapped. in a strange yet unexplainable way it felt serene and peaceful and as the train slowly chugged on, i kept counting the signposts till i forgot the count.

all i could wish for was some wind blowing against my cheeks. always the idealist.

i've gotten some time to myself this summer. i guess always being the dreamer that i am, thinking and reflecting is my special way of keeping my mind refreshed. balancing the checkbooks if you will. in school everything just happens at break-neck speed that i barely get a chance to stop and check in on myself.

on this short trip, i've seen some things that made me feel insignificant, other things that made me feel guilty. why does everyone but me seem so good? what can i do?


+listening to: hallelujah by jeff buckley

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sunshine

i'm setting off tomorrow to witness a total solar eclipse. it's only going to be visible from a few locations, and from where i' at now, i would only be able see a partial eclipse. but hey, if i was going to see it, might as well see the whole thing.

it's one of the few things on my "bucket list" that i thought would take me a while. because total solar eclipses are extremely location specific. and it's hard for everything to come together perfectly: the planetary alignment, phase of the moon, the time of day, the location, etc. now i just need a clear sky, and going by the weather forecast it seems i might finally get my wish.

it has already been dubbed the most perfect solar eclipses of this century. for the short 6 and a half minute, i would be able to experience the sky go completely dark in the middle of the day. i'm hoping it would be as exciting as i think it would be.


+listening to: some day by john legend

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the colors

how i wish i could see the things in different shades other than grey;


hear the notes as if they all represent an endless palette;


and dream the dreams in technicolor.


+listening to: detroit rock city by kiss

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american idol

i don't usually watch american idol. i find it... a bit uninteresting with all the hype and all. but somehow yesterday i came across a clip of the runner-up adam lambert's performance with kiss, and i was shell shocked.

if i had a mirror there i would have seen the shit-eating grin on my face, and simultaneously i was air-guitaring frantically in my room, at 2am in the morning. i haven't done that since i was 13.

and then i dug deeper, watched some more clips of him playing with slash, smokey robinson, queen and i was amazed. he looks like a emo kid on steroids but boy, he sounds like the most divine combination of axl rose plus steven tyler plus mick jagger, and all their good bits too. who the hell is this guy?

and he didn't win in the end? come on america. you're the dumbest lot i know.


+listening to: beth by kiss

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untitled

it's been a while since i've been moved to tears by music. i can't even remember when's the last time, i think it was when i heard someone play tchaikovsky's violin concerto in d major.

and i did once again today. it was this film called august rush. the music was... i wish i had another word for beautiful, but i don't. it was just beautiful.

i'm left speechless. and it reminds me how much i love the music. my music.

maybe it's god's way of constantly reminding us that there's something else besides us in this universe.

and you never quit in your music, no matter what happens because any time something bad happens, it's the one place you can escape to and just let it all go.


+listening to: untitled by mark mancina

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that was then, this is now

i'm finding it harder to remain focused. it just seems that i suck at everything i do, most notably all things pertaining to academics among others. i remember it hasn't always been like this, i used to be good. i used to be really good. somewhere along the way, something went astray.

i yearn for a better understanding of how my mind works. relevant subjects just don't seem to register, and that is before we even start talking about a thorough understanding. seemingly random and useless factoids gets stuck to my mind like flies to stink, i'd only need to read it once and it could never be forgotten.

why can't analog signals and systems be read and understood intrinsically like life of pi. are frequency response and fourier/laplace transforms that different from a few fundamentally philosophical questions? if anything they are all about trying to unravel the truth that this universe holds.

but it seems like my mind sits within an impregnable citadel. heavily fortified, severely lonely. and there's this unassuageable void. it sucks the life out and leaves nothing behind. determination and belief? those are only as strong as your mind is. and i have a weak mind. i surrender too easily.

what is the cure for that void and loneliness? someone please give me an answer. please.


+listening to: falling down by andy timmons

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revelation

my tube zone is working again!

just jammed to andy timmons's electric gypsy for nearly 2 hours. thank you mr timmons! it's been a while since i've listened to instrumental rock stuff, and this song just reminded me why i love it so much.

sometimes lyrics are not necessary. the music speaks for itself.


+listening to: electric gypsy by andy timmons

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this is number 300

this is post number 300. i have never done anything consistently for 3 times, let alone 300. waking up every morning doesn't count, because if i had my way, waking up would be... selective. that way i could only choose to wake up on the good days and skip the bad ones all together. and i am embarrassed to say that i once slept for 25 hours and skipped a day altogether.

so i should be happy. yet i am not.

i tried to write a song, and failed miserably. the lyrics were forced, and rubbish to start with. the chord progressions are repetitive and dull. and to add insult to injury, my prized possession, my pride and joy, has decided to ditch me and stopped working completely. and i don't know what is wrong with it.

being the electrical engineer that i am, i would have liked to say that it was a piece of cake to fix. but the reality is i have no clue what is going on inside with all the components and wires. it's too complex to grasp. i am doomed.

and i am having a hard time looking for a record store. it's not that there aren't any, it is just that they are always inundated with all the mando-pop malarkey. no offence to fans of the genre, it's personal taste. i just detest the manufactured and formulaic way most of those "music" are produced.

this might come off as hypocritical, but i refuse to pirate music. that's about the only thing i don't pirate. i believe that if you like an artiste, you should buy their records. that way they will continue to make good music for many years to come.

i wonder what i'm going to feel when the post count hits 666. i'd better be praying my ass off.

+listening to: so damn lucky by dave matthews

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