just told someone very dear to me to "go for it and follow you dreams".
hope i'm not being the biggest hypocrite in the world. but i really wished someone had told me that before.
+listening to: outloud by dispatch
Sunday, November 14
Saturday, November 6
| i've learnt |  |
not to get too emotionally attached to people, objects, events. because whatever it is, it can only be ephemeral. they come and go, but i'll always be here. so if i appear distant and unfathomable, i apologize. it's not intentional, it's just me habitually ridding myself of feelings.
feeling nothing is always infinitely better than feeling depressed.
confiding in your buddies is always a challenge. it is the self doubt that is most agonizing - not knowing if they'd be ok with what you say, not knowing if they'd look/talk to you the same way after hearing you out.
it's always the not knowing isn't it? well i know now. that there's at least still 2 people in this world that i can talk to with an absolute peace of mind, and just be who i am. i'm really really grateful.
it's like an angel from montgomery, a much needed reprieve from the predicament i'm in.
+listening to: riddle by dispatch
Thursday, November 4
| fallin' | |
suddenly i feel like i don't know what is going on anymore. everything is falling apart. it's like i've hit a speed bump again. and this bump has been rough on me. that sick feeling from a year ago is creeping up. i can feel it breathing down my neck. don't ever wanna feel that way again, then again sometimes, some things are just beyond our control.
+listening to: nothing
Tuesday, November 2
| help me through the night | |
i really need something more to get through the night this time.
that bottle on my bookshelf looks awfully tempting at this hour. but i stop myself, because i need to get on with it, there is no room for a lapse in judgement. wish someone would tell me in the face that i can do this.
oh mr. john daniels when will you let me off the hook.
+listening to: nothing
Monday, October 25
| times past | |
these past few days have been spent in recollections. the little regrets and everything else. i so wish i could turn the clock back to 5 years ago...
all i wanna do is ride and ride and ride and ride, and not have to think. but as it happens, it's pouring outside.
+listening to: prince of spades by dispatch
Thursday, October 21
Monday, October 18
| the last dispatch | |
watching the last dispatch just made me feel so much better, after the disappointment. i think i needed the escape , even if it was just for 80 minutes, though it seemed like a split second. the perspectives, and the optimism was what i needed to tell myself to get my shit together and move on. even if it was their last ever show, dispatch never showed any remorse, or regret. as i revisited their entire recorded discography, new meanings were gathered and motivations gained. i knew i needed something to lift these gloomy days, and the timing couldn't have been more perfect.
go now you're forgiven. go now you're forgiven...
+listening to: the general by dispatch
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
