sentosa!

too tired to write anything. pics are self explanatory. good sun, good food, good friends, and a hell of a day!

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The wee hours

it's 5.11am at the moment. i haven't slept a wink since the previous night

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After X'mas... What now

Been an uneventful christmas this year. me being home alone. but it is just as much boring as it is a blessing. i had total freedom to do just exactly what i wanted. so for christmas, i went... to my old NTU hood for some old skool reunion.

man it was a great gang bang, just like old times. it was as if i still lived there. breathed the same air. nothing's changed, not even the way the plants grow. yunan corner is still as dodgy, but nontheless hell of a night. it was amazing that we just kept on playing pool, xbox n what not till we couldn't take it anymore! haha coolio and wasted.

and then 2 days later, which is yesterday, i think... i went again. exactly the same thing! and the thing is we ordered macs, and akash being his usual self, for the 2nd time in a week, ordered a (pay attention!): DOUBLE CHEESE BURGER WITHOUT THE MEAT. i mean dude, if you're gonna order a DOUBLE cheeseburger without meat, why dun u just order a SINGLE cheeseburger without meat. you get EXACTLY THE SAME THING: a bun and cheese. hahaha i mean it was too funny and we all had a good time taking potshots at him. he doesn't seem offended. then yesterday, the order came with the meat and he got pissed off. so he called macs up again and threatened to sue them. guess what, they sent the same order back again! that's like 20+ bucks worth of free food dude. we should have ordered WAY more. that way we can milk every single cent out of it.

hmm sentosa tomorrow i guess, really looking forward to it! i really miss the class and the GOOD times we had together! yaaaaaooooozzzeeeeehhhh! and from now on i can post pics up as well. just got myself a new x'mas present: a shiny new motorazr2 V8. :D

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Merry X'mas

it's a black x'mas this year, the black parade is going on. santa is wearing black and ain't gonna be dropping by coz he's too hung over. it snows black snow in certain places and the elves have started using black eyeliner. rudolph the reindeer has decided to change his nose colour to black after seeing the rest of the reindeers, and the official theme for x'mas this year is back in black. so what can i say kids? have a merry x'mas

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Good movies... what're yours?

Movies tell stories. i for one enjoy those which make people think a little bit more after the credits roll, like the creamy aftertaste from a nice sip of vodka, or the subtle sweetness of fine dark chocolate lingering after it has long melted in one's mouth.

These past few days i haven't been doing much. kinda moody mostly because of certain setbacks. nonetheless i decided to watch some movies to distract myself. out of those i thought 2 really stood out, they're both kids movies. well not the cartoon-ish sort of family flick from walt disney or anything but rather movies about kids.

the first was called "Nobody Knows". Beautiful Japanese film. you really don't need the subtitles to appreciate the beauty of this film. It speaks of a Japanese single parent family with a mom and 4 kids. because of their 2 very young kids they couldn't find a place to rent so they had to smuggle them into the apartment in suitcases. then the mom left them and it was just about how the eldest brother Akira took responsibility for the other siblings.

The second film was called "December Boys". It's about 4 Australian orphan kids and their childhood adventures and special bond between them as they overcome the struggle over the likelihood of one of them being adopted.

strikingly both films are about characters and their relationships with those they love. it really touched me deep down inside. highly recommended for those who savours such sort of intertwining links between human emotions. i just somehow felt a connection with the characters in both films. i feel the psychological links, that i see myself in them, mostly in bits and pieces. but the similarities are obtrusive. i'd like to walk in their shoes for a day or two. it's fine once in a while to watch some action flicks, comedy and others but films like the above mentioned are just timeless themes. It just shows that low budget films and indie films are not inferior. they can be stunning pieces and hold their own place.

give it a try, you might just get addicted...

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Failure to Succeed

"Every rejection is incremental payment on your dues that in some way will be translated back into your work."

Those are the words of James Lee Burke. Life presents itself in such a myriad of unexplainable mysteries. Rejection is one of those hard to take ones. No one likes rejection yet it happens everyday. i also remember this saying from the movie "Million Dollar Baby" where someone said "It's okay to lose a fight..." i guess this would be a test for me, to overcome the million other adversities to come in life.

Yes i did not get what i wanted. I am genuinely disappointed, because i've worked hard towards it and never got the chance to feel what it is like. but that doesn't stop me from carrying on in my pursuit of what i want. this would be the right time to pick myself up and keep walking. 自强不息

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Judgement

The Big moment has finally arrived. Wed, Dec 19 2007. i'm kinda ahead by about 13 hours of US Estern Standard Time, less they already started using the Daylight Saving bullshit which i think they did (if i rmb correctly, the last sunday of october or something). so by tomorrow morning i should know if the course of my fate has been decided the way i wanted it to be.

i been thinking about all that i have done for the past 6 years. some things i'm immensely proud out, some other things that i'm less proud of, and some of the things i'm desperately trying to forget or couldn't care less about.

thinking back, i think JC life has taught me a lot. if there's one thing that i learnt in JC, it's that if you want something, you gotta go get it yourself. because nobody will get it for you. i guess that's the basic philosophy of life, of the cruelty and the harsh reality of an adult life. and i think i'm beginning to see things in a different, more realistic light.

i know that once i go to university things will be more like the outside, unprotected world. i'm gonna have to start taking care of myself. independence i must learn, survival skills i must acquire. so many things that i have to do. at the same time i'm anxious. i can't wait to go to university, to meet new people, to see different things. i believe there's another whole new world out there waiting for me. freedom seems not that far away any more.

so i'm praying hard now, to no particular deity or superior being. i'm just praying that i can get what i've always wanted. i know that the slip of paper's probably sitting somewhere on some admission committee member's desk waiting to be mailed or sitting in the computer database. i just hope it says what i want it to say.

for once pls gimme what i want, for i don't desire many things and seldom do i truly get what i wish for... just this one time.

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Believer

...Heavenly Highway Hymns. Reminds me of a young J.R. Cash singing away in the fields on a farm down in Dyess, Arkansas.

But it also reminds me of a powerful documentary that i have seen recently entitled Jesus Camp. it tells of the Evangelical Christians and their "voracious" method of converting people, and especially using Kids to do so, and their annual gatherings, way of life, etc. I'm not being biased or whatsoever, hence the inverted comas for the word voracious. if anything i couldn't find another more neutral word.

I guess it is just the way of how certain people do certain things. and i do not doubt that those kids truly believe that their lives are touched by J.C. but I can't help feeling a bit uncomfortable that at such a tender age they are being pressured with the moral burden of confessing their sins and getting "born again". This is not a judgement, for i know the fact is that 80 percent of Evangelical Christians get born again before the age of 13. i'm simply feeling sympathetic towards those kids. what touched me was that one kid came forward during a confession session to say that he had a hard time believing in J.C. and he would really like to change that, and he started crying. it was one of the most innocent and beautiful scenes i've seen. the look on that kid's face just speaks of an unspeakable melancholic sadness.

anyways, these few days have provided for a breather, a break from the hectic schedules of late. i can finally sit down and do some serious readings again, which i have not done since i dunno when. book of the moment: the language of sycamores by lisa wingate. but i'm sure whoever's reading already know that =). thanks for the book!

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