lifeline

i think i might have been thrown a new lifeline. we'll see how it goes.

no more screwing up this time around. fingers crossed

+listening to: say it ain't so by weezer

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i don't know

tonight is just one of those nights, might have been the 512th time, or the 1037th time, i don't know. that same feeling creeping up on you. having enjoyed some fun things through the course of the day, and then feeling the inevitable low afterwards. or maybe it was something that was said on the way home. i don't know.

maybe i'm looking for the cure - a song to fall asleep with, and wake up to. having it playing all day and yet not getting tired of it. i think i might have found it.

i lost my mind long ago, down at yellow brick road...

+listening to: yellow brick road by angus and julia stone

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warhol and flower

+listening to: nothing

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it's a really good story

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=89164759

+listening to: working man by rush

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champaign - chicago

140 miles, 24 hours, 22 pb&j sandwiches, 6 bottles, 2 riders, 1 gear, 0 emission (well almost, save for the breathing part).

an epic journey.

fixed gear or die.

+listening to: nothing

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the dilemma

i think of my life up to this point as a dilemma. i rationalize situations into infinitesimal divisions. of time, space and ultimately decisions, as if hoping the age old strategy of divide and conquer would somehow yield a different outcome, or an easier path.

herein lies the dilemma: to live life the way it was "supposed to be" or to live precariously?

i believe everyone has a flip side, the side that they don't want people to see/want people to see depending on situations and/or mood. to dabble in the realm of the unexpected, the dangerous or the exotic yet walking a line that's comfortably within the confines of the social norm. it's analogous to the millions of weekend road warriors, or part-time thrill seekers, or even tourist. if you think about it, it's just a word given to travelers who want to see the world yet are unprepared to give up the creature comforts of home and immerse themselves in the foreign surroundings.

hypocrite might be a little harsh. but somewhere along the line we've all become somewhat hypocritical. and we're very good at it. advocating for reduction of CO2 emission while eating and driving our way to ecological devastation. we vocally support the notion of a greener planet, yet are die-hard fans of everything petroleum derived, not that we consciously want to but because we've been enslaved by the convenience of it all. you still want your air-conditioning, don't you?

perhaps it is want that is the issue here. unrestrained, unlimited want. a human condition, an obsession that is being turned into almost a necessity. we create wants to satisfy our other wants. that's all we ever do. think about it, what have you ever done that is not related to something that you have always wanted? very little i suspect. maybe it is time for us all to look at the bigger picture.

so which path will it be? the well trekked or the less traveled? i think it all boils down to how one defines happiness. fundamentally we all want to be happy, while some of us think that what we do would ultimately culminate into the desired destination i call the land of happiness, others are merely content with the pursuit of that destination, and maybe derive a few simple pleasures along the way.

if at this juncture you're utterly confused about what the fuck i am saying, fret not. not everyone possesses the same reasons and logic. but if somehow you start to think that you actually got the point i'm trying to put forth, you don't. you must understand that everything i say is just paraphrased horseshit, triple wrapped in gold foil with a nice little ribbon to garnish. and do i have a potty mouth.


about the author: li xi has written over 20 self-help books and lives in des moines, iowa with his wife kiera and two kids, keith and eamon. they have a dog named oodles.

+listening to: nothing

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summer time

hot summer night, perfect for a ride. and i've also encountered the first real spill of the summer. it's the result of  the bike going some place and the rider looking at another, while in the dark.

took a good chunk of skin off my palms, shoulder and shin. and now i have to retape my handlebars. all in a day's work.

+listening to: these arms by donavon frankenfreiter

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i know why now...

i think i've just come to the conclusion with regards to why i stopped watching soccer completely.

so i was reading this article about the south african center jean de villiers' 2-week ban after he was cited for a dangerous tackle in yesterday's test between the all blacks and the springboks. and at the end of the article the paragraph struck me:

Wheelahan said that an important mitigating factor in de Villiers' favour, was his exemplary disciplinary record, which consisted of one yellow card during a career spanning nearly 10 years and 60 tests.

that got me thinking, has anyone ever seen a soccer player go 10 years and only receive 1 yellow card? all the diving and the theatrics and the ill-discipline is poisoning the world's most popular game.

soccer players in general act like a mob around the referee. it simply would not happen in a game of rugby. i'm not saying that rugby is a better game, because that is subjective. all i'm trying to put across here is that somebody, be it fifa or national governing bodies need to put the brakes on bad behaviors on the pitch. yellow cards should not be treated so lightly. a similar system of sin-binning a player for yellow card infringements in my opinion would greatly reduce all that shenanigans that go on.

it got to a point where i got frustrated of watching it, let alone playing the game. imagine what the players who were being impeded on felt like.

alright, that's the end of this rant.

+listening to: nothing

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