can't sleep

it's now well into the wee hours of the morning. and i still haven't got any interest or desire in sleep whatsoever. i've got a lot on my mind, and the heavy downpour didn't exactly help soothe my anxiety.

here's what i've been working on. take a look at the clock, i'm not kidding.

for the past few days i have been thinking a lot. about what is going on. and about what's going on in other people's heads. I've decided to draw up a training schedule/plan until the tourney season starts, in a last ditch effort to offer my help. but as to whatever i preach and whether they'll do it, it's beyond my control. i hope my efforts will inspire a few, if not most. i'm defintely not hoping for some miracle to happen, but at least i can be honest to myself and say that i've tried. i really tried.

here's the drills that i've been working on/implementing
for the past few weeks. just rough sketches.

categorizing them into attack/defence, etc. basically cataloging stuff so it's easier for me to come back to them instead of having to look for scraps of paper.

here's the secret weapon! the play book i meticulously
kept from last year. this is my personal stash.

closer look. this play is called **ssy. (no. not that. u stugot)

this is one of my personal favourites. ****ger.

and i've also gone out of my way to look for a copy of this coaching software designed by the NZRU, to help me plan the training sessions. hope it works.

As for what i'm gonna say to the boys tomorrow, well i guess i'll just KISS (keep it short & simple). it's time to clean up the act. do or die, etc, etc. right now my gut feels like it's being twisted into a thousand knots. and i feel like i'm gonna puke. godamnit.

for those who understand,
i extend my hand.
to the doubtful i demand,
take me as i am...

Peace.