INfidel WE TRUST

If you haven't heard the best/worst piece of news for a long time, Fidel Castro has finally decided to throw in the towel. It does come as a surprise though, considering how everybody thought that old fart (pardon the french) would never give up.


but in all fairness he had been a symbol of hope for quite a few dozen people over the years. he was the one who started the revolution, transformed cuba into a marxist-leninist state modelled on the soviet union, and probably had a role to play in the cuban missile crisis that nearly started world war 3, not to mention the driving force behind perpetuating the gloomy state of the economy.

We must thank him however for jacking up the world's cuban cigar prices, without him there would probably have been a few billion more cuban cigars floating around in the market, and it probably wouldn't be treated like the precious gem it is today. Oh and not forgetting kudos to him for giving us mortals hope, that immortality really exists and can be sought. When's the last time you heard that old fidel was dead? 10 years ago? 5 years ago? last year? yesterday? Don't you find it exciting/mortifying that time and time again he has risen from the dead and proven us wrong?

For some of us it's a beacon of shining hope on the hill of horse crap of a world today that miracles do occur. For others, such as employees of CIA, FBI, and a dozen other dodgy organizations who call themselves by alphabets and are living under the illusion that it's pretty cool, it's a case of chronic migraine - imagine having to haul yourself out of bed in the morning and the first thing that comes out of your mouth is "Oh Cock! Fuck me. He's still alive."


Yet it's his precise eccentricity that has charmed millions of us. People worshiped fidel, he was a hero in many people's eyes. Some say he shits bricks and that his eyes can blink horizontally, all we know is that he's called fidel. There was always an air of mystique around him wherever he went and whatever he said. So we ought to give it to the old man for at least having some charisma, charm, and that elusive ability to not mince his words even when he knows whatever he's saying is complete rubbish - such enduring qualities (especially the last one) that George W. Bush could never even dream of having in his lifetime or thereafter.

And our dear leader's last words before retirement?

"I will not aspire nor accept - I repeat I will not aspire or accept - the post of President of the Council of State and Commander in Chief"

published today in the now probably more than 50 years old Cuban Communist Party's daily publication aptly named Granma.


Fidel, you did the right thing. now enjoy life and go shack up some grannies already.


Read More: Fidel Castro Resigns Cuban Presidency After Half-Century in Power