Peaceful

I've done it. I've finally dropped the bomb on the boys yesterday. It comes as such a huge relief because i've been sitting on it for way too long. It's like lifting the shadows off a nightmare. Once the stone you're crawling under is lifted off your shoulders, once the cloud that's raining over your head disappears, the noise that you'll hear is the crashing down of hollow years...


There are surely gonna be creases to be smoothed out, pointers that need to be repeated but at least everything seems to be finally coming together. Everything went relatively well, the boys seemed to be reflecting on what i have said and even showed some pretty good team spirit. the tackles are improving, everyone's got some mud and bits of scratches and cuts and bruises everywhere but that's what it's all about, it's about just being on the pitch and doing what we do best. For the first time in many month i've been reminded of that smell of freshly turned up turf and soil mixed with the slightest tinge of blood. that scent still gets my heart pumping, it still gives me that fix of adrenaline that i've almost forgotten about.

And the expression on the onlookers faces; that wince at the sound from the sheer tenacity of the hit; that wince at the sight of the sheer determination and frequency of the spear, the drive, the lift and finally the dump, are priceless. i might have taken a knock on the bum knee again but it was all worth it. the defence is still all over the place, the relative easy with which i run past the gain line worries me. But i'm certain it will improve in the days to come.

Had a little chat afterwards with a couple of the new guys just talking about the understanding of the game. There's still a long way to go, and i'm thinking of a crash course/boot camp during the march break, and possibly added sessions on saturdays for the new guys just to focus on individual ball handling skills. It will be tough on everybody, including me. but i think it's a good exercise of my mental toughness. afterall i chose to do it, i wanted to do it and i'm definitely gonna stick it out to the end no matter what the outcome.

Finally the feeling of peace and relief is nothing short of bliss. They said ignorance is bliss, I say finally doing the things that you know has to be done is the new bliss.