bumpity bump bump bump bump bump

yesterday was valentine's day, traditionally celebrated by couples, as an event to express their affection for each other, also much celebrated by mega corporations and SMCs alike, as a tribute to a very successful marketing scam/brain-washing campaign which feeds on the hopeless naivete of the general public.


as you should have known by now, the original valentines's day, in honour of st. valentine of rome, and some other st. valentine of some other city, and a dozen others, have nothing to do with love or couples or anything like that. in fact there was no mention of it being celebrated for a useful purpose, other than for the sake of the few st. valentines. oh well... anyways vday this year is, well, uneventful. i didn't even step out of the house. not much of a romantic mood. anyways it's only for people who are attached, or whatever...

i have finally decided on something interesting to fill out my rather uneventful life, i have decided to turn to the dark side, to sell my soul to the devil, to head out on the highway to hell... i have decided to start watching Family Guy. and i have to say... IT'S BRILLIANT! the humour is just so twisted, much like south park but not as vulgar. haha and i love stewie, and brian the dog, who talks!


those two gotta be my favourite characters in the show, especially brian. he gives such funny ideas that it seems like peter is the dog and he is the owner. and it doesn't help that brian walks upright and talks. on the other hand only brian understands stewie, which is strange but funny as hell as it seems that brian is the only person (dog) who understands what stewie's up to, and doesn't pity him at all. anyways, highly recommended if you have time to burn.

also on another bombshell, i've stumbled upon the molson beer ad again, the last time i saw it was a few years ago. never seizes to crack me up! enjoy!

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Post New Year

Post Chinese New Year, feels much like the impending sense of doom felt after X'mas, or the ominous feeling of apocalypse one gets from realizing that life will go back to the way it used to be. I'm starting to just get a taste of all that.

Oh cock! some might exclaim. yes while the boys get a 'welcome to the jungle' surprise when they head to their field camps and the girls go back to their 9-5 white-collar desk jobs, i once again find myself irreversibly stuck at home, as if waiting for some form of miracle to occur miraculously, albeit sounding ironically paradoxical.

The highlight of the New Year shall i say, is the absolutely horrendous experience while being jammed into a train carriage like a can of sardines at peak hour. i had absolutely no intentions of traveling during peak hours during CNY, however some strange tradition has dictated that we should all gather for a meal some time around the evening, shall we say six-ish to seven-ish. that does not leave much of a window for one to procure a form of transit from the place of his residence to the place of the congregation, where the ingestion of food in the company of several dozen other people usually takes place - be it someone's lovely home or a distant, un-homely, rented venue.

One might think arriving in style in a chauffeured vehicle (a.k.a a cab) might be the way to go, if one finds that he's too young to be at the helm of a road legal vehicle, or simply can't be bothered to commandeer a vehicle. however that is not the case as i have unfortunately discovered - it turned out to be quite a pricey affair considering the amount of surcharges available during peak hours and festive seasons for one to fancy.

By now you might be thinking of a more affordable form of mass transport - the inaptly named MRT which stands for Mass Rapid Transit. Now there are several flaws i am obliged to point out at this point about the coining of the name MRT.

Number one: the M in MRT is absolutely rubbish. in every country i have been to, no matter what it is called, the train carriages never seem to have enough space nor seats for anybody. the company responsible has to understand that the population demographics does not stay stagnant over time. therefore it only makes sense to keep expanding the number of carriages on each train to accommodate for a growing population, and not have someone's sweaty or smelly armpits shoved in your face every time the train lurches forward or stops abruptly.

Number two: the R in MRT seems to be a gross understatement. when there are ten million people squeezed into the carriage, the thing inevitably slows down to the speed of a snail. not to mention the train seem to intentionally go slower on rainy days. is it just me or do people actually think that pedestrians are actually gonna suddenly start climbing all the way onto the track just to catch the driver off guard on a rainy day trying to drive a little bit faster. or it's not like if the train slowed down a bit on a rainy day we'd all be overjoyed in the cabin thinking we are in safe hands because if something happens we're gonna be able to brake in time to stop. the fact is, it's a train. trains don't stop for obstacles, they usually run them over before they realized there was an obstacle.

And what's with the renaming to SMRT? does it make them sound SM(A)RT-er? i don't think so. the only word i can think of that jusifies the S in front of MRT is "Shit-fuck". but then again, you cannot shit and fuck at the same time.

and there u have it, some fond memories of chinese new year



cheers!

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Chinese New Year

It's Chinese New Year, the time of year where like christmas everyone wants to scramble home and be with their families. and kids get new stuff, and of course money too. it was a pretty cool cny for me this year, going back to school as a graduate instead of a student, seeing how everyone is in such a joyous mood.

on this bombshell, i just got a letter from canadian immigration reminding me to make a landing again. damn i keep forgetting so pretty soon i'll be flying to canada! of course to keep my PR valid and perhaps visit some friends. i don't like the cold though, i heard it's pretty cold out there. but how the hell am i gonna get there? that's a big question. probably have to ask my dad for money again.

and that set me thinking again about the very real possibilities of going to canada for university. it will sure as hell save a lot of money. but is that wat i really want. and it wouldn't be so hard on my parents financially... i'm bummed. decisions, decisions, decisions...

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an intricate study in characters of two series in parts

i've decided to do something fun this time. sort of as a hobby. see how it turns out. the series in questions shall be House M.D. starring my favourite actore Hugh Laurie and also the little known and unfortunately now cancelled Huff. everything's in the works, i just love shows that are heavy on character

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the human connection

When you're talkin to yourself, And nobody's home. You can fool yourself, You came in this world alone... that's how the song estrange started out, and estranged is perhaps the perfect word to describe my state of emotional well-being recently.

i feel pretty distant from the people around me. maybe it's from not talking to them for too long. even when they are right in front of me, i seem to be lost for words. not knowing what to say. well maybe it's just a transient thing, that will pass with time. i just need to get used to it. it's weird how that i can never relate to people around me the way i used to be able to in school. like how i saw a friend at mrt today, and he patted my shoulder and i turned around and all i could mutter out was "hey" and that was it. i was just standing there not knowing what to say. and this was just after talking to him on msn the day before.

anyway today i went to rekindle some old friendships, having lunch with people from my 1J/2J class. it was comforting though, doing a lot of catching up and seeing how we could still just talk rubbish non stop. but somehow everyone has grown up quite a bit. the little fun attitude things have disappeared unfortunately, because it wasn't as volatile as we used to be, but still fun nontheless. we complained generally about jobs, army and stuff, all this while stuffing ourselves to the brim with sushi (it was a bloody buffet lunch...) and in the end everyone was all stuffed and satisfied. it was a great experience, having lunch with a bunch of people who are just as friendly as if they were still in the same class as u after 4 years of being in different classes plus now that we've graduated. memories of those most hilarious years in secondary schools are slowly coming back. it was a hell of a ride those two budding years. it was just a bottle-rocket of pure raging hormones all bunched up in a classroom way too small to contain our collective egos. i am still surprised that we all made it through alive somehow and turned into quite decent young men. go figure...

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Revelation!

what's the big revelation? one might ask. it's the book! SLASH! finally laid my grubby meathooks on it today. i was so tempted to get the hardcover version, but the 20 dollar premium on 2 pieces of cardboard hardly seems to justify any rational reasoning. so i got the paperback version. same difference. good read nontheless. it's really one of the best things that's happened to me in recent days, reading about your childhood hero, coz slash has been THE penultimate, real guitar hero there will ever be. he's style and playing speaks to me. and he is the reason i started playing guitar in the first place. plus he's a cool dude! just watch the interview with conan o'brian, it's hilarious

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the excitement finally dies down

earning your first dollars really gives you something of a feeling. it's the feeling of getting paid for what you have done or been doing before. i guess it has something to do with knowing subconsciously that somehow you are on your way to independence, that washes away the guilt that comes with asking for allowance.

after the excitement has finally died down, like now, it's time to move on to the next step - find more students! yes and try to save as much as i can to at least go somewhere in asia, maybe korea or japan or something. i really wanna go skiing.

and i have decided to spend my hard earned money i earned from my first lesson on a book.


a very insightful read if you are even slightly into guns n' roses or velvet revolver or just wanna have a glimpse of a rock legend's life. it's just pure sex, drugs, and fucking rock n roll.

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Fight or Flight

Every system has its built in defence mechanism. beings as we have discussed before, much like ourselves, are of no exception. except ours has a name, we call it "fight or flight".

when do you know it's time to fight and when do you know it's time for flight? nobody can really explain it. it has everything to do with the amount of fear that is present in us and our own personal threshold for fear.


regretfully, as a being, i have quite a low threshold for fear. i get scared easily. but i am glad to say that i can mask it pretty well. but that does not eliminate the fear, it simply means i'm actively trying to shift the fight or flight balance towards the fight end a little bit more.

maybe that's why i like to do things the last minute, because i'd like to give myself the illusion that i'm indeed fleeing from the situation when i cannot, and at the last minute having to face the music. well some people may simply interpret that as a classic symptom of laziness. yeah i sort of agree, after all, all men are pigs right?

but then again sometimes i think my indecision offend and hurt people. sometimes i dunno what to make of a difficult decision. i told a good friend off today about a stupid gig that i am uncomfortable doing, because maybe i'm too chicken shit scared of it. it took him messaging me twice to make me finally tell him what my decision was. and i think i truly pissed him off. it's the whole thing about saying no when someone asks "could u do it for me?..." sort of question.

another good friend just had his knee reconstruction surgery done. and i honestly wanna go visit. but i can't stand the thought of seeing the aftermath of a surgery, knowing that someday i might have to undergo the same thing. i just wanna run away from it. not that i do not care, but sometimes people have their reservations for various reasons.

and it doesn't help that i'm trying to run away from writing that last application essay that absolutely has to get done. i have let it drag over the weekend, over monday, and after a whole day of doing absolutely nothing, i'm still trying to shrug away from that responsibility, to myself. it's pathetic.

and yes tomorrow is the absolutely end of the world for me as i start my tutoring career. i do not know what to expect, i do not know how to teach, i do not know how to handle kids, i do not know if i'll get fired. i am just nervous, and scared, and clueless, and ill prepared, and not ready. I WANT TO RUN AWAY.

i wish our defence mechanism was designed with just 1 option. not a 50/50 thing, it would make life a whole lot easier. but then again, would that life be worth living. fight or flight... i smile when i get scared, do you? so what so I've got a smile on, its hiding the quiet superstitions in my head...

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