oh cock!

woke up in the morning to the sound of my stomach growling, hence the oh cock.

reason: dinner at seoul garden last night with a diet of pure protein mixed with peach tea and a tad of the absolutely nonsensical stuff they call ice-cream over there.

it was the annual rugby dinner, well actually it was the annual rugby bbq that somehow turned into dinner at seoul garden because i think people were too lazy to cook their own food. and this year's timing kinda sucked, apparently lots of people are out with their moms having dinner. i was wondering why there was a sudden surge in the showing of filial piety, and then i was told it was mother's day weekend.

hmm, so that's why i saw lots of buddha feet on the ground on my way to dinner. i guess it's the one day in the year that people get to make good with their moms and ask for forgiveness for all the sins committed in the past year and hopefully buy them some mercy for the year ahead and the many more sins to come.


anyways other than waiting 2 hours for dinner because of some screwed up dinner reservation, it was all lots of fun catching up with the guys, and just pig out. and then the new leadership was forged and the rest became history. it's really been a great great night, and i hope it's also the beginning of something truly inspiring. and to quote guinness: ... for we are but seconds from greatness. cheers!

+listening to: life by the drop by stevie ray vaughan and double trouble

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all we need

sometimes all we actually need is for someone to ask: are you okay?

it is sort of a platitude, a hackneyed remark, and a cliche. besides the fact that no one really tells the truth when asked the question, the answers we blurt out in most cases are rather startlingly similar: yea, yes, yep, no worries, i'm alright.

what we're really saying is: NO. I'M NOT OKAY.

we seem to resent that question a lot. some people even expressedly announce their desire not to be asked that exact question, which in other words often translates to leave me alone. but i think what we truly resent is the fact that most of us are not being asked that question often enough.

some of us prefer to shut things in instead of let it out. some of us are damaged and in urgent need of repair. and in an attempt to preserve our image, we often want to appear "normal", "tough" to the outside world purely in the name of vanity. funny why they call it vanity, maybe it's because a lot of us do much of those superficial things in vain.

sometimes those of us who appear the strongest are actually the most vulnerable. sometimes the most caring of us are the ones most in need of some comforting. sometimes the most destructive of us are actually the most damaged inside...


+listening to: red house by jimi hendrix

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when you head says one thing and your body does another

Image via Wikipediai am in pain.

my knee hurts, relatively badly. my elbow hurts too and i can't think of any reason why it should. and i think my right eye is infected, it's red now. probably because i got hit in the eye by a ball the other day. and the cough that i thought was gone, has recurred.

mentally i'm slightly exhausted too, partially from sensory overload in a short period of time (yesterday), partially from too little sleep or too much brain inactivity. when i sit there and do nothing, i like to dream, and think, about anything and everything. maybe i think too much. but it's one of those things that i really enjoy doing.

i woke up at 6 in the morning feeling like i'm falling a part. then i just sat in the dark and listened to music, hoping that the sun wouldn't come up. i wanted to do something constructive, but i just couldn't bring my self to it. i need some comforting, or for someone to tell me to snap out of it and get on with my life.

so i dream on, while my body continues to hurt like a bitch.


+listening to: ted the mechanic by deep purple

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wow

wow what a day. seems like my prayers have all been answered all at once. all the shit seem to be behind me.

woke up feeling something is amiss. i looked around and realised it was only 8 oclock. haven't seen the clock point at anything before 9 for a while. and then i realised that my cough is gone. what's left is only a little sore throat. it feels so good not to feel like you're gonna die any minute.

then there was the usual wednesday afternoon affair. alex didn't complete his homework as usual, but somehow this time he actually tried to do like half of it. i was genuinely surprised. and he paid his full attention the whole time. andreas was his usual well-behaved self with homework all done up for me to check, which leads me to wonder how can 2 brothers from the same family be so different.

the highlight of the day was definitely attending my godma's masters graduation ceremony. but before that i had to kill about an hour at PS waiting for my godbro to finish school before we go to the ceremony, and also contemplating whether to buy a t-shirt, which ended up with me recalling that i'm broke at the moment.

so the ceremony was really an eye opener. i saw an indian-american professor whose speech was so hilarious that he'd put russell peters to shame. and then my godma introduced me to her best friend/colleague who's a true blue (no pun intended) french lady but speaks a few languages fluently, among them CHINESE. i swear she speaks better chinese than i do and i was seriously floored, and ashamed of myself. and she's married to a chinese guy who's probably 10 years younger than her. what an interesting mix.

i haven't been this happy for a while, especially talking cock with my godbro. imagine sitting in a room full of "ang mohs" and you can simply make fun of them and say just about anything without giving a damn (we were speaking chinese of course).

i wish i could feel this good everyday...


+listening to: yellow ledbetter by pearl jam

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walk the line

she said to me over the phone she wanted to see other people
i thought... well then look around, they're everywhere
she said that she was confused
i thought... darling, join the club

the fine lines we walk in our lives, between having and not having, living and dying, between caring and not caring, moral and immoral. seems like those lines are blurring, fast... nothing is so clear cut as before anymore.

honour, discipline, integrity, passion, and that desire to just go that extra inch no matter what it takes. where art thou?

i want to effect change. i want to make a difference. but thou cannot change by not changing. the one man crusade with me leading the calvary charge seems hopeless. so what? i have my honour, discipline, integrity, passion and that inner desire to fall back on. i think that when it comes to the crunch, many can go that extra mile. but i KNOW that when it comes to the crunch, i can go two.

i'm all tangled up, but i know i can't give up. i feel the weight i carry on my shoulders. i want the change, and i'll do what it takes. hoping, believing. it's all on me now, so bring it on...


+listening to: bonus track by pearl jam

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another week

it's monday again. time sure passes fast.

a round up of the weekend basically consisted of a decent lunch at carl's jr and watching iron man. carl's is getting shittier by the month (but at least i was so full that i didn't really eat much of dinner) and the movie wasn't exactly as satisfying as i was expecting. first of all i thought it was going to be better, guess i had my hopes up a little bit too much, but overall it was okay. and then i also felt kind of bad for ditching certain parties whom i promised to watch it with. so... erm sorry, i didn't really have much of a choice.

so i went to watch the A division rugby semis today. ooh it felt exhilarating. haven't watched a proper rugby match for ages. probably since last year's final.

the saints and acjc match was quite evenly matched and was honestly pretty exciting. there was drama right from the beginning till the very end and all the spectators were kept on their toes. that's the kind of match i like. didn't really catch the other match between asci and rj, there wasn't the same kind of atmosphere, and my right knee is also kind of hollering at me since the end of the first game. how i wish i didn't screw it up. i think the final would be a little bit of a one-sided affair, but then again you never know what happens when a sizable chunk of silverware is at the stake. can't wait for next monday.

today i was also informed of the consequence of the training mishap last week. what i thought was just a harmless shoulder sprain for one of the guys has turned into a broken collar bone. damn just when things are going good, something bad has to pop up. why can't i ever have lady luck on my side. pffft...


+listening to: money by pink floyd

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soothing

awesome news! youtube is down. i don't mean to be a saddist but i can't really stand 90% of the stuff that people put up on youtube. since its outtage about an hour ago, i think the global online community has enjoyed its few precious moments of "silence".


i'm sure there are some very grateful parents out there who pray really hard before they go to bed every night that something like this will happen, so there you go, an answered prayer (finally). mind you it doesn't happen that often. last time something like this happened was in 2006 if i remember correctly. so do make it a point to note down the schedule in your diaries/planners so you can pray/make your sacrificial offerings accordingly. no gurantees though.

today was... soothing. had lunch with a few old mates of mine. it just feels so liberating to be able to say anything, ANYTHING without having to worry about being rude /overbearing /a*hole /insensitive /loud /coarse /ungentlemanly or whatever man. i needed this a long time ago. it's like back in the days in high school. i thank god pat myself on the back everyday that i went to an all guys high school. i dunno what kind of an oppressed being i might have ended up otherwise. you just have to let it all out, freely and without giving a damn about what other people think.

revitalized, peaceful, now all i need is incessant wealth. next time it rains, let it be money please.



edit: youtube is up again at around 10:15pm... the chaos continues, so should your prayers...


+listening to: primal cuts by steve morse band

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so yesterday...

So yesterday was labour day, or more commonly known world wide as may day. according to wikipedia:

In many countries, May Day is synonymous with International Workers' Day, or Labour Day, which celebrates the social and economic achievements of the labor movement. As a day of celebration the holiday has ancient origins, and it can relate to many customs that have survived into modern times. Many of these customs are due to May Day being a cross-quarter day, meaning that it falls approximately halfway between an equinox and a solstice...

but according to my calculations, it's just another normal, uneventful day. and i'm pretty sure the same goes for a lot of people.

don't get me wrong here, i'm not questioning the importance of this holiday, because as we know it anything that gets you off from working/studying mid-week is considered by many as a godsend.

just imagine, if thursday is a holiday, maybe you can slightly push the envelope and prolong the gratification for just a little while longer by maybe arriving at work half and hour late the next day, or even do away with another day of dreadful school completely by reporting sick.

as a result, the moment you arrive at work, your ritualistic countdown to a weekend of plastered-to-the-wall drinking starts at 7 hours and 30 minutes instead of the mundane, uninspiring 8 hour mark. how cool is that? think about it, but not too hard, what wonders that could do to your mental wellbeing!

so what are you waiting for? it's already friday. time awaits no man who can't hold his liquor for shit. immortality (well until you wake up again, whenever that may be) awaits... tonight!



+listening to: slow dancing in a burning room by john mayer trio

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