first off lemme start off with a weather update:
that's not an optical illusion by the way. my ass is POSITIVELY frozen to the core. and yet i still had to brave the elements, going outside to hunt for food and whatnot. to give you an idea of how cold it is, if you were outside now and not wearing gloves, you'll not be able to feel your fingers in approximately 2 seconds. yep.
ok so christmas is around the corner and school ended last friday, and dorms also closed on saturday, so now i'm crashing at terence's place. it sucks being the 2nd last person to leave chambana, but oh well there's jayce to make me feel slightly better, who'll be the last one.
i went to chitown today. for no reason. i bought a roundtrip grey hound ticket to chicago last night on impulse and promptly hopped on a bus at 7 this morning. needless to say it was absolutely dead by the time i got to illinois terminal to board the bus.
i don't know why i did what i did, i guess it's the yearning to be on the road. i love being on the road, just driving along the highway, being able to look far far away at the absolutely endless midwest plains. it makes me feel so peaceful inside, i think it's those times that make me really realise how vast the world that we live in is.
and in case i haven't made it clear before, i absolutely adore chicago. it's one of my favourite places to go to. it's just got such a metropolitan feel to it, all the architecture, the river, the people. and when you're in the alleys, in the shadows of those gargantuan mega structures, you get that gush of wind rushing past you, reminding you of the rich history of this town.
if i'd thought that chicago looked amazing in the summer, i haven't seen the big picture. winter is when chicago really shines. there aren't as many people on the streets, but just enough to still make it feel like a big city, and you get the salvation army at every street corner playing christmas music or carolling, or tolling their bells. you can literally feel christmas in the air. and then there's snow everywhere, and lots of sidewalks are not shovelled, so you sort of have to "wade" in snow that's about 3 inches deep.
and they make a frozen pond into an ice rink in millenium park!!!
so onto winter itinerary:
1st stop: milwaukee, wisconsin
2nd stop: boston, massachusetts
3rd stop: miami, florida!
i can't wait for wednesday when i leave chambana, yay!
+listening to: the wicker man by iron maiden
Monday, December 22
| christmas is here |  |
Thursday, December 18
Monday, December 15
Friday, December 12
| Friday | |
Writing on my iPod at the library now... This week has been tough with
a mid term on Monday and then the ECE110 final today and it doesn't
get much better next week either with three finals.
And adding on to that I had my final design challenge on Monday too,
which didn't get off to a good start until the final try out of the
five. Thankfully it did a perfect run, and what a sigh of relief for
me...
It's math that I'm worried about again, it's been that archilles' heel
of mine. But I know that it will become an indespensable tool in my
life in the not-so-far-away future. I might even need to work on it
over the winter break too. Getting credit is one thing but truly
understanding it is totally another matter.
Friday night, not so many people as on weekdays and it's time for me
to get some work done. It's all gonna be over soon enough, the pain,
the pain...
Monday, December 8
| a mind full of questions | |
time vaporizes. it's already nearing finals time, i am tired as usual, and i live at the library full-time now - i'm officially a "grainger ranger".
life's been... different lately. i've been far more detached from the reality. no idea what's going on around me. and my meager existence has a vocabulary of exactly 4 words: eat, sleep, class, study.
so in one of those few moments of aimlessness, i decided to have a chat with a few of the rugby boys. i forgot how long it's been since i last talked to them. i've been so out of touch with rugby and everything that has been going on.
i would have never imagined that i still held so much emotions for that little patch of green now that i'm a million miles away on the other side of the world. the images of those beaten to the ground crash pads, those endless mornings are still as vivid as yesterday.
i'm glad that for some of them that desire is still going strong, the passion still fervent. and for others it's hard to gauge, there's that hint of fatigue setting in, the edge seems to have been taken off just a wee bit. that subtle uncertainty about the future, about everything.
i saw it coming, with the coachless situation. i knew that it was going to be the archilles' heel of this bunch. i tried to put some sort of safeguard in, but i knew it wouldn't really be effective. i don't know why i'm still as surprised as i am. my heart still skipped a beat, something still stirred.
it's a struggle, it's always been a struggle and always will be. it's even harder when you're not even an adult. you're not expected to go through this shit. the path was supposed to be pointed out for you. laid in front of your eyes for you to tread comfortably. but sometimes, it just happens to be the way it is. we are a special bunch of people who all chose to walk this path.
keep the faith, that's what i always say and always do, because you never know what awaits you even when you think you know the flow of things. it's still a verdictless life, things will change for the better in the end, they always do.
+listening to: guaranteed by eddie vedder
Tuesday, December 2
Friday, November 28
| snowing in milwaukee | |
you know something is special in the works when your birthday falls on thanksgiving. normally it's spent with your family, but my first thanksgiving - was spent with some special friends whose friendship i have come to treasure over the past couple of days.
an introspective view on friendship allows one to really evaluate the depth of his human relations. but i realised from these precious few days that sometimes, some things cannot be measured. the word priceless comes to mind instantly.
people choose to spend their holidays the way they want to. and, hey whatever floats their boat right? i chose a peaceful thanksgiving over one that requires lengthy travels and such, and to actually sit down and have a conversation over some hearty home-cooked meals, or a short brief lesson on the quintessential american man, how about a concise summary of the history slavery and it's far-reaching implications on the modern society? you don't get that anywhere else.
and to eddie: the last time we met was 17 years ago, but the moment i met ya it felt as though we've known each other forever. i feel honored to have you as a friend, i've learnt so much in just 2 days. and of course to your mom and dad, it felt like home for the first time in 2 years.
really, thank you guys from the bottom of my heart.
+listening to: dream on by aerosmith
Monday, November 24
| silent night | |
it's weird being the only one on the floor in an unfamiliar dorm. i have the whole room to myself, the whole bathroom to myself, the whole lounge to myself, the whole floor to myself.
i turn the tv on just so it doesn't feel quite as eerie, and i waste my day away slumped on the futon/bed. and as i look out the window, the old glory still flies over the krannert center; the bell tower at the south quad still clearly visible like a vulgar display of all things ugly; and yet another four-in-the-afternoon sunset.
people. the occasional pedestrians down below looks like little insects crawling through the barren concrete landscape, the zebra crossing seems like a piece of delicious brownie cake drizzled with savory icing. the onset of vertigo never permits my gaze to linger - just long enough for the latent memory in my eyes to come to play before i go for another peep.
and then, low and behold, the clinking and clanking of the heater starts to tell me it's time. time to go back to work. turn the tv off, set the bag of unfinished chips aside and hit the books. it's a long night ahead.
+listening to: nothing
