slice of life

+listening to: present tense by pearl jam

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the surrealist

the bbq/picnic today was surreal. it was awesome fun even though it was just a simple get together. i can't believe i had the thought of not attending. i would have felt so miserable.

i think i was truly happy today for once in a long while. happiness doesn't occur to me often, so i'm enjoying every second of it. still savoring the sweet moments.

now off to have some more fun, and maybe get shitfaced, for tomorrow marks the beginning of what is surely gonna be a painful and torturous 3 weeks. i can't wait to get out of here.

good night, and pray for me maybe for those who are believers. i'm gonna need all the help i can get.


+listening to: nothing

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life in a bubble

another time. another failure.
it's so hard to swallow, the feeling. i choke.

it really makes me wonder, have i made the right choice in life? efforts go to waste, it wouldn't have mattered if i had just slept through the past 3 days. the outcome would have been the same.

just wanna wake up from this never ending nightmare. it's taking its toll on me even though somehow if it had been someone else it would have been different.

why does everything seem so hard to me. what is my calling.


+listening to: atmosphere by john mayer

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can't wait

i can't wait for these 3 torturous weeks to be over.

i need to go home.


+listening to: don't stop by rhcp

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another week

my life seem to be denominated in weekly intervals. it's always about surviving the next week and finally getting to take a breath on friday, ableit a short-lived breath.

and even on fridays, the feeling of time wasting by choice or otherwise makes me feel guilty. i want to do so many things.

and sometimes i'm forced to make decisions that don't appeal to me the slightest, and sometimes it's just plain tough to have any belief in my own abilities.


the hopes and banes, seeing people succeed, seeing self fail. seeing the fight and struggle end up in them looking the other way. and then there are the few whose passion and desire transcends description, yet are being held back by indifferent attitudes of their peers. i can feel it seven thousand miles away,

hope. why hope. i guess that's the only thing i know how to do and can do.


Do you see the way that tree bends?
Does it inspire?
Leanin' out to catch the sun's ray
A lesson to be applied
Are you getting something out of this
All encompassing trip

You can spend your time alone
Redigesting past regrets, Oh
Or you can, come to terms and realize
You're the only one who cannot forgive yourself, Oh
Makes much more sense to live in the present tense

Have you ideas on how this life ends?
Checked your hands and studied the lines?
Have you the belief that the road ahead
Ascends off into the light?

Seems that needlessly it's gettin' harder
To find an approach and a way to live
Are we gettin' something out of this
All encompassing trip

You can spend your time alone
Redigesting past regrets, Oh
Or you can come to terms and realize
You're the only one who cannot forgive yourself, Oh
Ah, makes much more sense to live in the present tense


+listening to: present tense by pearl jam

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ROFL

saw this outside a friend's apartment:




+listening to: and so it goes by tommy emmanuel

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it's been like 3 weeks

3 weeks of nothing feels like crap. just didn't have the time or energy or mood to write anything.

anyways today i found out that one of the professors, Lippold Haken, invented the continuum keyboard. i was like WTF. coz i've seen jordan ruddess play it a million times in dream theater concerts and videos, and heard it a gazillion times in the songs. and to think that one of my professors was behind that thing is scary.


i will mos def take ECE 403 next semester as a technical elective just because he's teaching it, and well he's the guy who invented the continuum!


+listening to: i walk beside you by dream theater

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let your soul shine

you know when you're feeling down, sometimes all you need is a few words of encouragement to keep you going, to ignore all the distractions, to put aside the jealousy, and just let your soul shine.

in the words of warren haynes:

...When you cant find the light
That guides you through a cloudy day
When the stars ain't shinin' bright
And you feel like you've lost your way
When the candle lights of home
Burn so very far away
Well you got to let your soul shine...

and in the words of b. b. king:

...Better not look down,
if you want to keep on flying
Put the hammer down
keep it full speed ahead
Better not look back
or you might just wind up crying
You can keep it moving
if you don't look down...


i know what i want, and i want it really badly.
now i just need to go get it.
peace.


+listening to: soulshine by gov't mule

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