you know when you're feeling down, sometimes all you need is a few words of encouragement to keep you going, to ignore all the distractions, to put aside the jealousy, and just let your soul shine.
in the words of warren haynes:
...When you cant find the light
That guides you through a cloudy day
When the stars ain't shinin' bright
And you feel like you've lost your way
When the candle lights of home
Burn so very far away
Well you got to let your soul shine...
and in the words of b. b. king:
...Better not look down,
if you want to keep on flying
Put the hammer down
keep it full speed ahead
Better not look back
or you might just wind up crying
You can keep it moving
if you don't look down...
i know what i want, and i want it really badly.
now i just need to go get it.
peace.
+listening to: soulshine by gov't mule
Monday, March 16
| let your soul shine |  |
Saturday, March 14
| slumdog millionaire | |
i happened to watch slumdog a few weeks back (after the oscars unfortunately) but never found the time to write about it. i just couldn't resist it anymore.
i honestly started out with zero idea of what this film is all about. i thought it was another bollywood flick, with the all too typical, prevailing hiding-hehind-the-tree-like-as-if-you-can't-see-me syndrome. pardon my inherent racial bias with regards to such cultural innuendos, i just don't. get. it.
so i was pleasantly surprised that it was more hollywood than bollywood in style, but also equally relieved that the plot and settings did not get drowned out in all the farce associated with tradition blockbuster cinema. kudos to fox searchlight, i have been rewarded for being a loyal fan of this label for the excellent features that they have put out thus far.
for me, slumdog is as much about love, and lost as it is about the ever changing landscapes of india. i have never doubted in my head that india is a beautiful country, of breathtaking landscapes, of amiable and hospitable people, but perhaps this film has addressed the lesser seen and defunct side of this society, the cancer that besieges this sprawling culture of the rich-gets-richer.
one of the first few scenes that depicts hundreds of thousands of people that live in the slums on the outskirts of bombay (or the modern day mumbai) defined this whole movie: women doing laundry in filth-ridden canals probably mixed with sewage, clothes-lines strewn across the vast areas of open landfill, and little kids being themselves, carefree and restless, playing cricket, completely indifferent to the hopes and banes that plague their parents and neighbors.
the crime, the vices, the genocide, the corruption, the torture, the apathy, the contempt: everything points to irrenpentable acts that cannot possibly lead to divine enlightenment in this very much god(s)-fearing nation. yet people continue to indulge in them, or perhaps not indulge, but these acts continue to manifest, simply because the people had to do what they had to do to survive.
thus the speck of pure love is akin to an oasis, it fuels the motive force behind this film from the beginning to the end. we're all touched by the innocent nature of it, because a kid could not possibly have harbored other ulterior objectives in mind when he decided to extend a helping hand to that little girl in the rain. and even when the seemingly perfect "face" was scarred for life, he took no notice, instead, choosing to appreciate what exists beyond the surface.
and the bittersweet ending, that reminded us that we have to give some to gain some. such is the formula to a timeless story, even though it is set in one of the most estranged times that the country has probably seen to date.
oh and let's not forget the magnetic soundtrack, that was the glue that held each and every frame together. it's seductive. it's impeccable. it's magic.
+listening to: paper planes by M.I.A.
Monday, March 9
| tag tag tag | |
This is the first time i'm doing this, kat tagged me, so have to be courteous and respond.
Rules must be followed:
Each blogger must post this rules.
Each blogger must start with ten random facts about themselves.
Bloggers that are tagged need to write about their own blog, ten things and post these rules.
Don’t forget to leave them comments telling them they have been tagged and are to read your blog.
10 Random Facts about me.
1. i can speak and write chinese, extremely fluently, better than most people can, contrary to popular believes. english is considered a second language even though i have no problem conversing.
2. i love thai food, and curry. if someone asked me one day: if your girlfriend and a package containing mango and glutonous rice, and curry chicken are both drowning, who will you save? my answer would be the package.
3. i'm very stubborn, like to do things my own way. if my mind is set on something, nothing can change it.
4. i have a minor case of ocd, i have a perfectionist mentality. if something is flawed, i'll go all out to make it as perfect as possible. the notion of imperfection annoys me.
5. i like watching weird films, and foreign films. somehow i think foreign films are more sincere and genuine than the hollywood flicks, even though it doesn't make sense because films are essentially a portrayal of reality and not reality itself.
6. i'm emo sometimes, like when i listen to a certain song or have something on my mind, or have too much work to deal with, and occasionally i enjoy the feeling. urgh.
7. i don't know if i have chosen the right path for my life. i still think i'm not doing what i am destined to do. i think i'm good at certain things, but i'm not sure if i'd be able to find a job doing the things i like. i'm insecure.
8. i watch grey's anatomy, and house, and mad men, and dexter. and yea that's about all the stuff i watch on tv. oh and recently millionaire matchmaker.
9. i tend to be impulsive. i'd buy a lot of stuff that i have no use for and then later regret it. and oh i'd convince myself sometimes that what i bought was actually useful even though when they're not. in other words i'm a stereotypical idiot.
10. i wet my bed till i was 6.
Q. Who’s the person that tagged you?
kat aka ppp. she tagged me like... last century. still better late than never.
Q. Relationship between you and her?
we met here in champaign, on the first day that i moved into my dorm. we are all classified under "snyder people".
Q. Three impressions of her?
very cool, and bakes mean cakes/pastries.
Q. If she becomes your enemy, you will?
eat some of her cakes and make up with her.
Q. What will you say to the person you like very much?
erm... would you like to go for a walk and maybe ice cream?
Q. Characteristic i like about myself?
faithful, kind.
Q. Characteristic i hate about myself?
temporarily is the fat. everyone says i'm fat now, and i should really excercise.
Q. For the person whom you hate, you say?
thou shalt ingest thy faeces.
Q. What do people feel about you?
i honestly think that the whole world thinks i'm crazy. well maybe i am a bit mad. but that's a good thing isn't it. coz the universe... oh there we go again.
Q. Your crush?
here and there, most people interest me, but not on a crush level. period.
ok that's about it. till next time.
+listening to: pacific palisades by frank gambale
Thursday, February 26
| what the duck? | |
i'm staring out of the giant windows at the library at the engineering quad, and there're three ducks out there just waddling around, doing their thing, completely oblivious to the myriad of humans walking by. yea ducks.
not the domesticated, flightless kind, but the wild variety, you know, those flocks of birds that love to form shapes in the sky.
here's a picture of a mallard duck. yea mallard, the same exact word that the engineering department decided to adopt for the much dreaded electronic homework system. how cute.
yea, actually come to think of it. mallard on the engineering quad, what irony.
+listening to: i'm like a bird by nelly furtado
Thursday, February 19
| another brick in the wall | |
i think this is it. the first rock bottom since the beginning of this eventful journey.
i feel defeated, depleted, shocked, angry. and it's all my fault. somehow i saw this coming, yet chose to ignore the signs, thus i bear the consequences.
what's my peers going to think? i don't know. i'm too tired to care. is there still chance to make up for it? i don't know. maybe i should just let it go. i don't know.
may be it's an indicator, that i'm not working enough, and the only way to find out, is to give it a go because when you're at the very bottom, there's only one way left to go.
+listening to: ...
Wednesday, February 18
| 9.46 PM | |
it's T minus 19 hours 10 min from the ECE 210 midterm. progress is agonizingly slow. my understanding of the subject is minuscule at best.
the good life that i've always envisioned hasn't exactly materialized. even the happy moments, those carefree times are merely transient. pss... transient, i was thinking about differential equations there for a split moment. my life revolves around work.
learning is supposed to feel stimulating, and engaging. for me every time i walk into ECE 210 or 290 lectures, i feel like i'm drowning. thank god there's still math and physics discussion that gets me going. it's one of those rare instances where i actually feel productive, versus just being another "face" lost in the lecture hall crowd.
i desperately need some change and reprieve in my life. it's becoming a huge mess, stuck in an infinite loop, with someone hitting the giant red REPEAT button for you over and over again.
goals, life, paths. what goals, life and paths? if only i had a moment to breathe do i even dare to fathom about such ideas of grandeur.
desperate for air, lactic acid building up in my limps. popped veins, vision blurring. should i suck it in and wait for the light, should i? or take the easy way out and just let go.
someone come take me away.
+listening to: jamie's got a gun by aerosmith
